


Backstage

by johnwatsonblog



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Castiel is a Tease, Classic Rock, Drugs, F/M, First Time, Fluff, Homophobia, I'm Sorry, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, Journalist Dean, Love, M/M, Music, Nightmares, Rock Stars, Running Away, Sex Drugs and Rock and Roll, Singer Castiel, Slow Burn, Slurs, So many tags, Song Lyrics, Swearing, Tattoos, a lot of swearing, hate then love, references
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-06
Updated: 2017-10-02
Packaged: 2018-03-21 15:18:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 33,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3697133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/johnwatsonblog/pseuds/johnwatsonblog
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU</p><p>Castiel Novak is becoming international famous with his rock band, The Rebellion Garrison, made up of his brothers. Whatever Castiel wants he gets and he likes flaunting his talent for everyone and anyone. </p><p>Dean Winchester is a rising star in the world of journalism. He is extremely modest about his work but will stand up for what he sees as right. Dean has just been set his biggest challenge in his career.</p><p>At the start, Dean is 27 and Cas is 28.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Working into the night

ROCK STAR NOVAK ARRESTED – STORY BY DEAN WINCHESTER

Castiel Novak, The lead singer with the rock band The Rebellion Garrison, has been formally charged and arrested for driving under the influence of alcohol and possible illegal substances. It is to be believed that Mr Novak was racing his older brothers and band mates, Gabriel and Michael Novak when they passed a state trooper. 

Castiel – 26 – was seen driving his Mercedes at 2:33 am on Thursday morning at an approximate speed of 109 MPH in a 70 MPH zone. The other two Novak brothers have only been charged with speeding as a first offense. However, this is Castiel’s third Arrest in the last two years after the family band reached a new level of popularity during a tour of Europe and Australia.

However, it has not been all rosy for the Novak’s as their brother – Luci – left the band approximately 6 months ago for undisclosed reasons. As an exclusive, we are lead to believe that Luci left the band after several altercations with the eldest of the Novak siblings. Michael; who had been managing The Rebellion Garrison until Michael also left. In his absence, Balthazar Roche has taken over the management of The Rebellion Garrison.

 

Dean leaned back into his leather chair, examining his work closely. Although, he had only been working as a music journalist for the last 8 months; he took a tremendous amount of pride in any article he was instructed to write. It had been difficult learning basically a new trade after several years of being a local newspaper reporter.  
Now, his work could be read in one of the biggest Gossip magazines of them all. Singer’s. It had been quite a surprise when Dean had first received the e-mail from Bobby Singer, the owner of Singer’s magazine (Obviously.) Ever more of a surprise when Bobby offered him a job writing for the music section; so much so that Dean nearly broke his knee jumping from his chair in excitement.

He glanced up at the clock on the wall and groaned in frustration when it read ‘3:30pm.’ Dean normally liked to work later than most of the other journalists but today was Friday and he was too tired to care anymore about the antics of one Castiel Novak. The information was sent straight to his department as soon as the police had officially charged Mr Novak and Dean needed to quickly write a short article about Castiel’s ever increasing arrest record. “He’ll still be insane in the morning” Dean mumbled to himself on the way out of the rather large building. Luckily for him, Dean only lived three blocks away from the offices and the walk from work took no longer than 15 minutes.

His apartment was rather a mess. Stacks of books and scattered papers littered his floor or any space that was available. But Dean still seemed to manage to live an organised life with such an uncontrolled chaos waiting for him at home. Dean had been meaning to clean his papers but, unfortunately, his work hours got in the way of any spare time. Anyway, his younger brother Sammy used to make do most of the cleaning when he lived with Dean. But, since Sam moved in with his girlfriend - Jess - the housework at Dean's apartment has been pretty much ignored or forgotten.

As soon as his shoes were off and his front door was locked, Dean collapsed onto his sofa and fell straight asleep. Despite the fact Dean worked late most nights, it was rare that he did not have the energy to even make it to his own bed and undress himself. Tonight was different. His energy levels had been completely drained and Dean desperately needed sleep even if it meant sleeping on the world’s most uncomfortable sofa. Although, his slumber didn’t last long. His phone began to ring as loud as it possibly could of, awakening a rather grumpy Dean.

“What?” He croaked down the phone  
“Dean. Hello. It’s Bobby” Instantly he sat bolt upright and scrubbed the sleep out of his eyes  
“Oh… Hello. Sorry Mr Singer”  
“Dean. Please. Call me Bobby, Mr Singer makes me sound older. Anyway, I got a job for you Boy…”  
“Sure anything Bobby”  
“Well. I want you to write a special addition of Singer’s for me”  
The line went completely silent as Dean tried to register what Bobby was asking of him.  
“Are… Are you sure Bobby?”  
“Of course I am Dean. I know you haven’t been around as long as some of the others but you have the skills they don’t that are needed for this task”  
Dean was shocked. Bobby wanted him to write a whole edition of Singer’s. He had been completely unaware that Bobby was still talking down the phone.  
“Yes! I mean… Of course I would love to”  
“That is great to hear Dean. We can talk over the finer details in my office tomorrow morning as soon as you get in. Right. Get some sleep now. Goodbye Dean.”  
“Goodbye and Thank you Bobby”

After they had both hung up, Dean had an enormous grin on his face. His exhaustion was replaced with a rush of adrenalin. He quickly tapped out a text out before dragging himself off to bed and finally fell into a comfortable slumber.


	2. Good News or Bad News

Dean scrubbed his face and nearly broke his jaw with a over exaggerated yawn as he leaned against the wall of the elevator. Early mornings was not his thing. Bobby's late night phone call had put ideas into Dean's head of what story or who he could cover for the magazine. Maybe Jeff Lynne. Or Eric Clapton. He would scream if he got the chance to meet and talk to Brian Johnson. He didn't get much sleep after waking up wondering who Bobby had in mind and this 8:30am start on a Saturday was not agreeing with him off the bat. 

Sadly, he got pulled out of his sleepy daydreaming when the elevator stopped with a rather loud ding on the 33rd floor of the Singer's building. Dean manages to drag himself through the busy office and taps on Bobby's office door. Now that he was here, standing outside Bobby's office. He was nervous. Dean knocked again until he heard rough voice say "Come in..." Bobby had his head raised and smile on his face as Dean peered around the door. He quickly shut it behind him and took the empty chair opposite Bobby. 

Even though, Bobby was the head of one of the most popular magazines in the Western World, he didn't act like it mattered at all. He usually says "Running a company as big as this is like running a family. There are going to be disagreements but you get the job done no matter what." Dean idolized the way Bobby worked. He was blunt, stubborn but everyone seemed relaxed around him. His office reflected the priorities in Bobby's life. Across the walls, there were several different car inspired artwork and pictures of his family. His wife, Ellen, Dean has met numerous times. She is just as stubborn and blunt as Bobby but there was a warmth to her that made Dean like her instantly. Still, he often wondered about Ellen's first marriage and if her first husband was like Bobby or if he was completely different. A result of the marriage to a Harvelle was Ellen's daughter, Joanna Beth. She was another story altogether. Her loud mouth and complete disregard for any kind of boundaries has gotten Jo into more trouble than either Bobby or Ellen care to mention. Despite the fact that Jo had the vocabulary of a sailor; she could be caring and warm, Rather much like Ellen. One minute they could be tearing you a new one and the next they could be hugging you and baking pie. 

"So Dean..."  
Dean shook his head as he hadn't realized how far into his own thoughts he had gotten. He smiles across the desk at Bobby  
"Mr Singer, I can't believe this. I mean, I haven't been here all that long and..."  
Bobby raised his hand to stop Dean from continuing  
"Like I said last night Dean. Call me Bobby and I need your communication skills. You can talk to people, Boy. I mean really talk to them and that is what this assignment needs."  
"Sure. Awesome. So, what is the assignment?"  
"Well" Bobby leans forward slightly in his chair "The Rebellion Garrison. Heard of them?"  
Dean nodded his head "Sure. The Novak brothers band. The ones giving Keith Moon a run for his money. What about them?"  
"That's who I want the special edition on. Well, that leader singer of theirs. Castiel. You up for it?" 

Dean's brain short circuited. Had he just said...? Does Bobby really want him to interview that maniac? When he could be interviewing someone like Robert Plant. Seriously? He looked up at Bobby and remembered he hadn't answered him 

"Awesome. That is a shock. Um... Of course I'm up for it."  
"You sure Boy? Just say and I can give it to Lisa or someone"  
"No! Of course I'm sure Bobby. So, how will it work? I collect information from band mates, former girlfriends and then do an interview with the guy?"  
"Not exactly Dean. You see, I want you to write about what this guy is actually like of the stage. I reckon he ain't such an idjit really. So, you are gonna spend the next eight months on tour with him and his band."  
"Awesome. Really appreciate the challenge Bobby"  
"You should Boy. Now, Go home and get some rest. You look like you've been to Hell and back. We'll talk about the finer details on Monday morning." 

Now, Dean's brain had really stopped working. He was still trying to understand what Bobby had told him when Bobby carefully ushered hi out of his office and Dean somehow got back to the elevator. Crap. He leaned heavily on the wall of the elevator. Dean had been hopefully and excited on the journey up this morning. But, he was anxious and disappointed on the ride back down. He rubbed his temples as Dean felt the mother of all headaches beginning to brew. "This is not going to turn out well."


	3. Rock Doesn't Always Roll

Cas threw his head back as he practically screamed the final note of the evening. It had been one of the longest sets that The Rebellion Garrison had performed together. Exhilarating but exhausting. Cas had slowly become accustomed to longer and longer sets; thanks to Balthazar. But this was ridiculous. Things had been different when Michael was in charge. "Leave them wanting more, Castiel." That was his exact words. "They will come back again." All of the brothers lived by Michael's word; as if they believed that he was god himself. However, everything changed when he left. Firstly, Michael refused to even speak to Castiel or any other Novak sibling. But things had slowly been getting back to some form of normality. 

His hair had turned oily black in color with sweat and plastered itself in inconvenient angles upon Castiel’s forehead. Castiel shook his head as if to rid his mind of the distracting thoughts. Not now. He grinned like the Cheshire Cas to the audience, taking one final bow and bid his farewells for the night. Cas watched as each of his brothers took a step forward and said their goodnights to the audience as well. Although, he enjoyed performing, Cas still felt relieved when he can finally rush off the stage and relax in the back of their tour bus. Tonight was no different. As soon as Cas smelt the familiar scent of stale beer and Gabriel's noxious shoes; he instantly relaxed back into the seat. "Thank fuck for that." The peace was short lived. Not long after Castiel had gotten comfortable, the remaining band members filed quickly into their designated areas of the bus. Gabriel - of course - was the first to start tearing into any food he could find; shortly followed by Samandriel and one Meg Masters. 

The only current member of The Rebellion Garrison to not be an official Novak but she was certainly making up for that fact. She began playing guitar for the band when Balthazar took over management and during an exceedingly quick relationship with Cas. That was an embarrassing and slightly awkward decision but there was no hatred between Cas and Meg now because of that. Although, every once in a while, Meg will happily admit that she wish she could of had one more ride of Cas before calling it a day. On the other hand, Castiel was extremely pleased that they had ended their... whatever you wish to call it. He began to realize that he did not share the same feelings as Meg harbours for him. 

"So Cassie..." Gabriel slipped into the empty seat beside Castiel with a lollipop indelicately shoved in his mouth.  
"What is it Gabe?"  
"Well. I know you like leaving straight after a gig but seriously. You're making us look like Douche nuggets."  
"Douche nuggets?"  
"Yeah with the whole Mysterious asshole routine you have going on."  
"Gabriel. I have a reputation to uphold and if that means people sees the band as... Douche nuggets, then that is how it shall be"  
"You obviously haven't spoken to Balthy today have you?"  
"Why? What is happening?" 

At that moment, the door to the tour bus was flung wide open and the man himself, Balthazar, sauntered through the isle. He was not an exceptionally tall man but Balthazar had a slightly bizarre presence about him. One of flamboyancy and laziness wrapped up in a layer of sarcasm. He flashed a quick smile in the direction of the others before settling down across from Cas and Gabriel; completely ignoring the confused look on both of their faces.  
“Balthazar, what is going on? Why is Gabe asking me to tone things down on stage?” 

Balthazar reached into his pocket to retrieve his phone. He continued to speak towards Castiel but his eyes were firmly locked on the small screen.  
"Oh yes. Cassie Darling. We are going to be having a visitor so you gotta start playing nice" 

Castiel's jaw dropped open. A visitor? Play Nice? Thoughts spun around his head until he began to feel slightly dizzy. They had begun their current tour sometime last month and never before had Cas had visitors he had to "play nice" with before on any tour. He was curious but anxious of who exactly this visitor will be and what they want. 

"A V-visitor?... Who? Why? When?"  
"His name is Dean Winchester. He is some kind of journalist from Singer's magazine. They are printing a special edition all about you and the poor bastard has the joy of spending the next 8 months of the tour."  
"8 months?! I can barely stand be around anyone for that amount of time but some guy I don't know who is going to be prodding and probing me for information for some glam rag. No Balthazar, I can't do it."  
"Well, little too late Cassie. I ironed out the details with Mr Bobby Singer himself during the gig. We're picking Dean up on our way through Missouri and that is that."

Castiel huffed and mumbled several curses as he turned his head to stare out of the window. No matter how much he protests about Balthazar's decisions, Cas still had to follow them through until the end. If not, Balthy would not hesitate in firing his ass for some bimbo who thinks she can get away with a bad voice by shaking her hips or anything else to keep the audience distracted. No. Cas loved his music too much to let that happen to the band. Even if it does mean listening to Balthazar and his stupid ideas. He leaned his forehead against the cooler glass of the window; the rhythmic vibrations helped soothe Castiel's approaching migraine. He led a privileged life but sometimes, it made Cas extremely unhappy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone is interested, here is a track list of what I think Cas' favourite songs to perform are. If you don't know the song, check the out. They are awesome. I don't own any of these or anything of the such. 
> 
> Mistreated – Rainbow  
> Strip Tease – Hinder  
> Paradise City – Guns N Roses  
> Crazy – Aerosmith  
> Love Bites (So Do I) – Halestorm  
> Enter Sandman – Metallica  
> Straight through the Heart – Dio  
> This is the Life - Hinder  
> Joker and the Thief – Wolfmother  
> Layla – Derek and the Dominos  
> Back from Cali – Slash ft. Myles Kennedy  
> All Night Long – Rainbow  
> Hammer to Fall – Queen  
> What Ya Gonna Do? – Hinder  
> Wish you were here – Pink Floyd  
> Poison – Alice Cooper  
> My Michelle – Guns N Roses  
> Give it to Me – 3 Doors Down 
> 
> Btw. Apologies for any American spellings.  
> I know you spell colour with a 'U' and not color.


	4. First Impressions - Part One

It was official. Dean Winchester hated early mornings. He nearly smashed the alarm clock as it reminded him that it was only 4:30am. Fuck. If Dean wasn’t needed to be awake and ready to leave at 7am, it was certain that he would still be deep somewhere in dream land. Eventually, Dean rolled himself out of his bed and shuffled his way to the bathroom. It wasn’t long until Dean was awake enough to safely pour himself a cup of coffee and not spill it everywhere. Coffee was too precious in the mornings to waste.

After pulling on a faded pair of jeans and his beloved Metallica shirt; Dean wandered back into his bedroom, eyeing his suitcase at the bottom of his bed. He lifted it onto the edge of the mattress and thoroughly checked through it to ensure that he had packed enough clothes for his impromptu stay with The Rebellion Garrison. Dean had several other bags packed with his writing equipment. It had taken three days after he received the news for Dean to begin sorting through the piles of papers to find the appropriate things to take along with him.

It was difficult for Dean to decide not to back out of this one. But Bobby was counting on him to get the job done; even if it did mean living with Castiel Novak for eight months. Eight Months. He had heard horror stories and legends about what happened on their tour bus. That lunatic Novak had made more headlines than Tony Iommi (Dean was sure of it.) Sex, Drugs and Rock and Roll. The whole nine yards. Dean could have guessed why people liked the guy so much; Castiel was absolutely gorgeous. With his nearly permanent sex hair and his ridiculously blue eyes. Not that Dean would ever admit that to anyone in his whole life. Not even Sammy. Fuck! What had Dean gotten himself in for?

He glanced at his wall clock. 6:15am. Dean started to pace, running down a mental list to make sure he had packed everything that he needed. He was not ready for this. Dean had never been on tour before. The longest time that he had been on the road was 3 weeks and that was a badly planned road trip with Sam 4 years ago. But this was for 8 months. 243 days. 5832 hours. Most of which were going to be spent in a cramped bus with a maniac and his band. 

6:50 am. Shit. Shit. Shit. This was actually happening. In approximately 10 minutes, Dean was going to be joining Castiel Novak on tour. He quickly organised his cases beside the front door but the mundane task did not help in soothing his nerves. Dean’s stomach had decided to practice some impressive gymnastic moves and make him feel 100% more badly. Dean kept pacing from the front door back through the living room into his bedroom. The repetitive motion seemed to calm him somewhat; but that completely changed when Dean heard a knock at the door.

He abruptly stopped in his tracks. Could of he been imagining things? Dean remained quiet until a much louder knock was made. Fuck. He squashed every nervous feeling down into the pit of his stomach and calmly went to open his front door. Standing there was a man Dean recognized as Balthazar Roche. He was not short in stature but Dean had a couple inches advantage than Balthazar. His hair was a dirty blonde and was styled within an inch of its life. Dean had somehow zoned out again and was still staring at Balthazar. 

“Dean Winchester?”   
“Uh… Yeah. Sorry, that’s me. You must be Balthazar Roche, right?”   
"That's right. I’ve come to take you to the hotel where Cassie and the rest are staying for now.”   
"Oh..." Dean raised his eyebrows in slight surprise and confusion "I-I thought we were going to be staying on a bus?"  
Balthazar grinned "You sure are but we gotta stock up on some essentials before we drive to the next round of gigs."   
Dean blushed slightly in embarrassment "Right. Sure. Umm... Maybe we should get going... Sooner we start...the better..."   
"Sure thing. Just load your stuff in the back of the car and we'll be on our way..." 

Arranging Dean's luggage into the back of Balthazar's car was not as difficult or time consuming as either of them had believed. The ride to the hotel in Kansas City was pretty much uneventfully. Dean had considered jumping out of the moving car and running away at several points but he was afraid of disappointing Bobby in such a way. He had worked too damn hard for Bobby’s approval to ruin his reputation now because of being too nervous. Balthazar must have been able to tell that Dean was nervous as hell about this assignment. Although he was talking directly to Dean, Balthazar kept his eyes firmly glued on the road. 

“Right. First things first. Don’t piss Cassie off. He is hard enough to work with when he is a good mood. It is nearly impossible to get him to pay attention to anything important if someone has gotten him into a foul mood.” 

Dean simply nodded. He had read and even written about Castiel Novak’s famous temper and the consequences of getting on the wrong side of him. It was not nice. He remembered one story in which Castiel had fired a young roadie for not leaving during the band’s pre-show rehearsal. It would be a miracle if Dean could survive without getting into a fight with him. 

”When I was talking about this with your boss, he warned me that you may be stupidly stubborn over the way in which you write this article or whatever. Castiel can be just as stubborn as you, Green eyes so don’t try to make him do anything he says no to. Things like talking about his parents. Do. Not. Bring them up. Too much water under the bridge if you get my drift.” 

That was a subject on the top of Dean’s question list. Despite the success of the Novak brothers; no one really knew anything about their family background. He had heard comments from Michael that "All the family they had was in the band." It still seemed strange - to Dean at least - that a group of relatives that were forever in the public eye could be extremely secretive. He shook his head as Balthazar began to speak again. 

"Finally, have fun. It's not often that Cassie lets people on our tours. Despite the busy look of things back stage, touring can be really fun. So, please enjoy it but... Don't go to the extremes that the other guys go to at the after parties. They believe they are immortal but everyone else knows far better than them and I think you know you're not immortal like those ass-munches do." 

The speech from Balthazar had weirdly calmed Dean's stomach and eased the surging thoughts in his head. Dean felt more relaxed with what was planned for the next couple of months even if it did mean living in close quarters with a mad man. He could do it knowing Balthazar knew what Castiel's behaviours were and how to - hopefully - handle him. Time slowly passed away and it was not long before the car was pulling out in front of the Hotel Phillips. 

The demeanour of the hotel was grand and all of a sudden Dean felt very out of place as he walked in through the rotating doors. Balthazar quickly s filled them both into the elevator and pressed the button for the top floor. Dean’s stomach began to flip again but he breathed deep to keep his nervousness at bay. Finally, the elevator doors opened into a luxurious suite that was painted completely white. Somewhere, Dean could hear some fainting noises that sounded like someone snoring. Balthazar pulled him into the main bedroom. This room was also lavishly decorated but lacked any colour whatsoever. Dean's eyes were ripped away from the art upon the walls as he heard soft footsteps on the laminated flooring of the bedroom. 

"Who the fuck are you?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait between update Guys   
> Been a tough week   
> Moving is a bitch and other things 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this chapter


	5. First Impressions - Part Two

It was a tremendous relief when Castiel finally reached the hotel at 5am; he was about to murder Gabriel in several different horrifying ways Cas quickly dashed through the rather crowded lobby of the hotel, to ensure that no one could recognise him or catch him for an autograph. Although this industry had been kind to Cas in the past, lately, it had been more difficult to have any kind of normality in his life and Castiel hated the lack of rest time in between gigs. Before. they would get a week off after 5 weeks of touring, to ensure they didn't go mad or kill any other member. That was when Michael was manager. Michael believed in the band being as rested as possible and Castiel enjoyed touring with his brothers. Balthazar - on the other hand - liked pushing them to their physical and mental limits. It has surprised everyone that Castiel hasn't snapped yet. 

Castiel leaned heavily against the elevator wall as the doors close shut. Thank fuck for that. He let his eyes shut in the comfort that there was no one else in the lift that could disturb him. He was suddenly overcome with a wave of complete exhaustion. It had been nearly a week since they had been able to spend a night in a hotel instead of the dingy tour bus. The thought of been able to sleep in a clean bed without your elder brother trying to put rice pudding in both of your shoes or writing extremely rude words on his forehead in permanent marker. 

The doors opened with a soft 'ding' and Castiel dragged himself off the wall. Along the first walls of the penthouse were several pieces of modern art and a few famous pieces of impressionist art as well. Cas stopped to admire a few of the creations before wandering through to the massively spacious living room.The walls were painted a pearl white and had more unusual artwork adorning the other walls. "An extremely bland and boring taste of décor for such an expensive room" Castiel thought to himself. He enjoyed staying places that are more characteristic than this but Balthazar always boked the most ostentatious room available. He would be much happier if he was sharing a room with Samandriel or even, Gabriel.

His bed was always too big and cold with only him in it. Even if, Castiel did have company - which is rarer than people think - they would sleep separately. They would not hold each other through the night; share in each other's warmth. Everything about this life was getting colder and colder. Castiel wished that he had someone that he could share his bed with night after night. Someone who could see behind his stupid façade and love him for him. Not the asshole who was leaping about a stage for hours at a time and then partying until the dawn. But, just him. Castiel James Novak. 

He shuffled his way into the bedroom, stripping all of his clothes and leaving them haphazardly thrown across the floor. Cas crawled under the covers; shivering slightly at how cold his bed actually was and the fact he was naked. He glanced over at the clock on the nearest beside table. 5:30am. Shit. How the hell had it taken him half an hour to get into bed? It had been a long trip through Iowa to get to Kansas City. Castiel – of course – did not sleep a minute of the entire journey, thanks to Gabriel flicking his ear each time Cas shut his eyes. 

Nevertheless, he was here, in his bed. Alone. Anyone would of thought that Castiel would fall asleep immediately. Not the case. Cas tried repeatedly to allows himself to fall asleep but he couldn't. His mind kept focusing on the large empty space next to him instead of shutting off any distracting thoughts. He physically shook his head to attempt to erase the thoughts from his brain. Castiel was missing someone in his life to fill that space in his bed and his brain had the brilliant idea of dragging all of his lonesome thoughts to the surface now. Right this second. Cas pulled a spare pillow over his face and willed the thoughts away.

He thought about everything but the excess of empty space next to him. Cas thought about the 18th century composer Joseph Gibbs and Rainbow's concert in Dusseldorf in 1976. The memory of Dio's voice singing 'Catch the Rainbow' had lulled Cas into a soft dozing state as he became sleepier and sleepier. He must have fallen asleep for a short period of time as he was rudely awoken by the sound of Balthazar talking rather loudly to someone by the entrance of the hotel room. 

Castiel groaned quietly as he stole a glance at the clock. 7:50 am. For fuck sake. Way too early for Cas to even contemplate getting out of bed on most days. But, he still dragged his ass out of bed and padded his way out into the main living space of the room. He was not worried about Balthazar seeing him naked. Balthy had seen Cas in the buff more times than he would care to admit to. However, he was halted in his tracks when he spotted a man in his room that was definitely not Balthazar. He hair was slightly darker and his face was adorned with a large amount of freckles. His eyes. Fuck. His eyes were so green that Cas thought they must of been fake and the man was wearing coloured contacts. 

Only then Castiel realized that this man was a stranger - a rather gorgeous one indeed - and Cas was still naked. He felt slightly embarrassed but he remembered about Balthazar mentioning something about a reporter staying with them or something of the like. Suddenly, ‘stage Cas’ took over and spoke before Castiel’s brain could actually think straight. 

"Who the fuck are you?..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter took a while.   
> I haven't had the urge to write for a while but I am okay now
> 
> Leave comments   
> If you want 
> 
> Btw. Rainbow Live in Dusseldorf in 1976 is a really good Album. My favourite track is Mistreated. Even though it is 16 minutes long, it is amazing. 
> 
> Thanks for reading as always guys x


	6. Treading on Egg Shells

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naked Cas and Awkward Dean - Need I say more.

Dean’s jaw dropped instantly as his eyes landed on a very naked Castiel Novak. Shit. He is fucking gorgeous. Dean allowed his eyes scan the somewhat aggravated figure standing before him. A figure that he had seen being pulled out of cars by police officers or a figure he had watched leaping around a stage whilst singing an impossible note. He smiled slightly at the extremely messy mop of hair that was adorned on top of Castiel's head, a few separate strands sticking up on their own accord. Dean glanced further down from Castiel’s face, the broad but slim panels of his chest and down further to the sharp jut of his hips bones. He bit at his bottom lip as he noticed a path of dark, fine hair leading down to Castiel's... Holy fuck. Dean snapped his eyes back up to the singers face with a blush rising in his cheeks as he realized he had been staring and hadn't answered him yet. 

"Uh... I-I... I'm D-dean... Dean Winchester..." 

Really smooth Winchester. Dean mentally face-palms himself. How could one guy - who happened to be naked - get him so jittery? Well, the answer was simple, that guy was Castiel Novak. Sexy, mysterious Castiel Novak. He shook his head trying to rid his mind of all ridiculous thoughts about Castiel, his damn near perfect body and his permanent bed head that should not be sexy at any time. Shaking his head did not help at all, when Dean looked back to that spot in front of him; Castiel was still standing there and was still naked. He smirks shyly at Cas as he lets his eyes drop again to study a tattoo just above singer's left hip. Dean couldn't distinguish any of the individual letters but the black ink stood out on Castiel's paler skin. Dean straightened his back anxiously as he noticed that Castiel was studying Dean’s body just as intently as he had been staring at that strange tattoo. Dean licks his bottom lip subconsciously, as his eyes trail down further to Castiel’s runner like thighs. He had seen photos of the singer naked before but, this was different. Castiel could actually see Dean staring at the defined lines of muscle and he could see the blush rising in his cheeks. A cough snapped Dean back to reality; he twisted around to see Balthazar standing with his hands on his hips and a very disapproving look on his face. Dean dropped his head in embarrassment and a slight blush creeps up his neck into his cheeks. Balthazar completely bypasses Dean and stood in front of Castiel.

“Cassie! Why the hell aren’t you dressed? I told you yesterday that we were meeting Mr Winchester this morning. Stop giving me the stink eye too, it isn’t that early” 

Balthazar waved a hand dismissively as Castiel tried to speak. Maybe things weren’t so sweet between these two, Dean thought as he watched quietly behind both of them. He had believed that Castiel and Balthazar was as close as brothers but now; perhaps he was wrong. Perhaps everything was not Sunsets and Unicorns with these two. Dean would have to ask Castiel about his relationship with Balthazar later on when his manager is not in earshot. This assignment could actually be more interesting that Dean imagined in the first place. 

“I don’t want to hear any excuses. Just get the dressed and meet us down in the foyer in 10 minutes.” 

Before Dean could even register what was happening; Balthazar was dragging him back into the elevator whilst looking at his phone at the same time. It seemed that Mr Roche was an incredible multitasker but – then again – he was a manager of an international famous rock band. He ran a hand through his hair, wondering if he had just fucked up their first meeting by gawking at Castiel like that. Well, it could have been worse. Maybe. Sammy could have been there. Holy crap! If Sam even saw him looking at another guy like that, Dean would never hear the end of it. Dean glanced over to Balthazar but the man was more engrossed with the messages that he was receiving on his mobile phone. 

Dean shook his head trying to calm his heart that was leaping in his chest. He had to remain professional from now on if he was going to get the kind of information that Bobby expected him to get. Crap Bobby. Dean would definitely get fired if Bobby ever found out that he turned into a nervous teenage girl when he met Castiel Novak. He could not get fired because of a little, slight crush on the guy he is going to be interviewed for a very high-end magazine. Dean loved his job too much. Get it together Winchester. From here on out, Dean was not going to gawk each time he saw Castiel. The elevator pinged as they reached the ground level of the hotel, the doors opening into the expansive foyer. Dean took a deep breath before following Balthazar to one of the several sofas spread throughout the vast room. His eyes scanning the foyer until they landed back on the elevator doors as a rather grumpy – but now dressed – Castiel emerging from behind the automatic doors. Dean frowned at the expression on Castiel’s face. By the look of things, today was going to be a long day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I made Balthazar a bit more of a dick than normal.  
> By the Way 
> 
> We're now over 6000 words! (Just) Woop!  
> It is a kind of accomplishment


	7. Good Morning Princess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grumpy Cas - Definitely not a Morning Person  
> Awkward Dean 
> 
> Maybe flirting

This is definitely what Castiel thought he was going to be greeted with when he rolled out of bed. A muscular, green-eyed stranger who was staring so hard at Cas that he was slightly concerned that his eyes would pop out of the unknown man’s head at any second. The sleep fog from his mind started to thin and ‘Stage Cas’ disappeared for the moment. He tilted his head slightly to the side as he waited for the man to answer him until he realized why he was staring so obviously. Shit. Castiel was completely naked. He never felt self-conscious about his body before – he had stripped once or twice an audience – but by the way a faint blush was rising in the stranger’s cheeks; Castiel began to wander if it was the first time this man had seen another man naked. It was a slight understatement to say that Cas had a nice body; he enjoyed running too much and keeping his thighs toned and his hips slim. 

Wait. The man was talking, well, trying to talk. At last now Cas had a name to go with suck a well sculpted face. Dean Winchester. That was most certainly the reporter guy who Balthazar had told him about at some point yesterday. Castiel allowed his eyes to fall down the man's body; watching closely as he sees muscles shift beneath the stranger's clothes. His brain sparked into gear as he noticed that this Dean was wearing a Metallica shirt; maybe he was a fan like Cas. It seemed likely by the fading around the printed design, probably from excessive wearing. "Maybe this guy isn't going to be such an assbutt" he thought to himself as his eyes drifted lower. 

He lingered his gaze as Cas tried to figure out how a man that looked similar to a Greek god can have such bowed legs like some cowboy out of an old western film. Castiel was pulled back to Earth as he started to daydream about Dean in a cowboy outfit by an overly exaggerated cough. For fuck sake. He had just begun to enjoy the company of this journalist but – of course – Balthazar had other plans for this morning. Obviously. He rolled his eyes at the ridiculous sight of Balthy standing with his hands on his hips like he just caught Castiel doing something wrong. Cas narrowed his eyes at Balthy in an attempt to get the message that it was too early for his bullshit.

Balthazar had set rules about the type of people Castiel was allowed to see – in a personal capacity. No groupies, bimbos and certainly no men. It was not due to the fact that Balthazar was homophobic in any way; it was because Castiel – apparently - had a reputation as a ladies man to uphold. It was a stupid reputation. One that Castiel did not even know about until Balthazar took over as the manager and he started to suggest that Cas would stop seeing men due to the fan base being mainly of women. 

His mind had drifted again and when he was brought back to reality; Balthazar was telling him to get dressed. Cas was not ready to be up and about at this time in the morning. It was way too damn early for him. Castiel opened his mouth to tell Balthy that there was no way in hell that he was getting up without his much needed forty winks. However, as usual Balthazar stopped him even before he had said a single word. He pouted in frustration at the truly rude way Balthazar talked to him at times. Castiel performed when he's told to, eats when he's told to and even sleeps when he gets told to by Balthazar. Any sane person would have thought that Balthazar would have some kind of respect for Cas and let him at least sleep a couple of hours. Nope. They would be totally wrong. It was a price that Cas had to pay to keep his other brother's happy and content but this was running him ragged. 

Castiel trudged back to the bedroom as he heard the elevator doors arrive at their floor and - shortly after - leave again. The thought of just crawling back under the covers and completely ignoring his 'orders' was very tempting; but he knew he couldn't. Not unless he wanted a pissed off Balthazar for the rest of the tour. A whole 8 months of him being a bigger assbutt than usual. Castiel could barely tolerate Balthazar at the moment. He dragged his feet along the carpeted floors as he tried to find some clothes that were comfortable to wear and didn't have any buttons. Cas pulled on a pair of his black jeans and a oversized "University of Rock" hoodie that was the softest hoodie in the world.

The journey to the ground floor in the elevator was uneventful apart from Castiel nearly falling asleep against one of the walls but he was awoken by the "ding" when they reached the foyer. Everything was too bright and loud for this early in the morning. Cas groaned at the sunshine streaming through the large windows and doors at the front of the hotel. His eyes narrowed as he spotted Balthazar - with his phone stuck to his face - and Dean situated on one of the sofas. Castiel's mood lightened slightly when he finally flopped down into an armchair and he could relax before Balthazar started talking again. 

He was in desperate need for a very large coffee or something more illegal if he was going to get through this morning. Cas kept his eyes closed with his head tilted back as he vaguely listened to Balthazar ramble on about Dean's contract and the method that he was going to interview Cas - or something like that. Castiel nodded occasional when Balthazar asked him anything. Surprisingly, Dean was remarkably quiet throughout their "meeting" but when Cas sneaked a peek of him through one eye; he swore he could see Dean's lips moving. Maybe his hearing was going, that would be a disaster if that was happening. Before Castiel could panic himself, he noticed that Dean was reading several pieces of paper. A small crease appeared between Dean's eyebrows as his eyes scanned the page. Shit, that should not be adorable. God knows what legal crap Balthazar had written into it if he had given Dean a contract that is anything like Castiel's and the bands. A major headache was threatening to brew at the very mention of their contract with Balthazar. It had taken nearly four months to complete and Cas doesn't agree with a great deal of what is needed of him. He rests an arm over his eyes to try and block out as much light as possible. 

Fuck. This was going to be a long day


	8. A few finer details

Dean was trying his best to concentrate on Balthazar explaining the contract. But there were two major things distracting him. One; the major lack of coffee in his system. Two; the way Castiel kept staring at Dean out of the corner of his eye. Dean couldn't catch the singer directly staring at him but he could see Castiel crack an eye open at odd moments. He couldn't possible staring at Dean for any other reason that he was a stranger who had just gawked at the singer whilst he was completely naked. Could he? Nope. Definitely not. Maybe. 

Dean tore his attention back to the contract that was in his hands. He flipped through the first few pages until he landed on the chapter detailing the access he got to the backstage areas of all the concerts that The Rebellion Garrison performed. The language that Balthazar had used was confusing to say the least; Dean could not decipher half of the conditions that were outlined. He could call Bobby and ask him to translate the legal garble for him but this was Dean's mission and Bobby had trusted him to complete it. So he will even if it does mean not knowing what his contract states. Dean watched as Balthazar stood from the other end of the sofa and leaving to fetch himself a coffee from the hotel restaurant. 

“So any questions before you sell us your soul?” 

The deep rumble of Castiel’s voice made Dean nearly jump off of the end of the leather sofa. His head was still tipped back and his eyes were still shut tightly. If anyone else looked at him now, they could easily believe that Castiel was fast asleep. He shook his head, realizing shortly after that Cas could not see him with his eyes shut. Dean cracked a weak smile at the Singer who had opened both of his eyes now to stare at Dean. Fuck. Castiel's eyes were so beautiful. They were bright with a glint of something that Dean couldn't describe in them. Dean subconsciously licked his lips as his throat suddenly stopped working and his tongue had gotten tied in his mouth. 

"N-Not really... Um... Actually... Umm..." 

"I do actually have plans today so please sometime this Century."

"Well, how much time am I going to be spending with you... without anyone else?" 

That certainly got a reaction that Dean was not expecting from Castiel. Cas’s eyes widen immediately and a deep red blush appeared on the singer’s cheeks and went straight up to his ears. He opened and closed his mouth like Cas was struggling to find words to say. Had Dean just rendered Castiel - rock star with a serious attitude problem - speechless? Well, that was a turn out for the books but what was wrong with Dean's question? 

"Are you okay?.. Wait... No... Crap" 

Dean was going to get the word "Dumbass" tattooed across his forehead. He scrubbed a hand over his eyes, sighing in frustration at his own stupidity. His eyes were still heavier than usual and his brain was not working as quickly as it should be. Things would be going so much smoother if Dean had more coffee in his system than the single cup he had this morning.

“I-I didn’t mean it like that. I was wandering if I could spend some time with you without Balthazar or any of the others around. Just you and me talking about… whatever.” 

Dean noticed a new emotion flash across Castiel's face. It was subtle but it was very clear to see. Disappointment. Was Castiel really disappointed that Dean didn't mean spending some quality time with him? There was no way in hell that he would be disappointed about that. Dean decided that it was too early from him to start reading in to this too much. 

“Look, can we go and get some coffee? You look like you need it and I definitely need it to get this damn foot out of my mouth” 

He was expecting Castiel to laugh and tell him to “stop being so stupid” or “Like I would with you.” Instead, Castiel grabbed his hand and dragged Dean through the lobby without a single word. Dean tripped over his own feet as Cas pulled him across the main road to a small café opposite. The singer didn’t speak until they had reached the glass door. 

“Snuck out of my keeper’s sight yesterday and found this place. They do amazing blueberry muffins. Freshly baked and everything" 

Dean couldn't help but stare at Castiel. The singer's whole demeanour had changed since Balthazar had disappeared in the vague direction of the Hotel's restaurant. Maybe Bobby was right all along and Castiel was a totally different person underneath everything else. They quickly found seats inside the small café, near a window facing out onto the street. Dean looked around the café, trying to figure out what drew Castiel to this one instead of one of the bigger chain coffee shops. 

It was a simply café with several round tables scattered across the main floor. There was a large counter against one wall were people would order their food and drinks. He could hear an unknown radio station being played somewhere in the background. The atmosphere was easy and Dean instantly relaxed until a young girl brought two large coffees over with a fresh blueberry muffin on the side and a generous slice of cherry pie. Dean stared up in disbelief at Castiel – who simply stared back with a slight smile on his lips. He thanked the server and grins down at the plate in front of him. 

“Dude. How did you do that? Did you phone a head or something?”   
“No. I have an agreement with the owner”   
“Since when?”   
“Yesterday. When I found this place. You don’t listen well for a reporter” 

Dean smiles up at Castiel and shrugs his shoulders in a half attempted reply. He grins again down at the slice of pie before diving straight into eating the pie. Dean shameless groans as loud as he can around the first forkful of cherry filling and pastry. He glances up at Castiel and the singer is blushing again whilst staring wide-eyed at Dean. He puts his fork back down next to the plate and smiles shyly at Castiel as Dean wipes his mouth on a napkin. 

"Sorry... I really like pie and... This is awesome pie" 

The blush was still bright on Castiel’s cheeks and the very tips of his ears as he sips his cup of coffee tenderly. Dean could feel a similar blush starting to creep up his own cheeks. He had asked Castiel out on a whim and now they were sitting in a café, sipping coffee and Dean had just made the most embarrassing sound he could ever make. Dean had just made a fool of himself in front of the guy he would have to spend the next 8 months in close proximity with. Shit. He had made a mess of this already and now he would have to clean it up somehow. 

"Now that I have officially put my foot in it, I thought I'd introduce myself a bit better than earlier in the hotel room. My name is Dean Winchester and I am the guy who is going to be following you around for the next 8 months. A couple of things you should probably know about me before we can even start working together. One; I hate flying. Be prepared for me getting drunk to get through flights. Two; I love pie and as you just saw, I really love Cherry pie. Finally, three; I am no pushover journalist. You have obviously been interviewed in the past but this is different. If I think you are holding out on me then I will push you until I get the answer that I feel is truthful. But if you give me a truthful answer and ask me specifically not to print it then I won’t. That is about all the basics you need to know really. Anything else you want to know?” 

Dean couldn't risk a glance at Castiel as he started his speech, instead he concentrated on folding another napkin that was on the table. When he did look across at the Singer - napkin neatly folded beside his plate - Cas was staring back at him with his mouth hanging open. That was the second time Dean had left Castiel speechless. It was probably his confidence shining through that Dean definitely lacked in earlier. He tilted his head slightly as Castiel continued to stare at him with those ridiculously blue eyes. After a few moments of more intense staring, Castiel quietly said his question and it was one Dean had not been ready to answer. 

“Are you Gay?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Sorry for the wait for this update but I hope the wait was worth it  
> One of the longer chapters I've done so far 
> 
> Little spoiler - No worries about the ending. It is alllll good   
> I don't like homophobic language or any kind of slurs 
> 
> Please leave any comments   
> Until next time my Darlings


	9. The Puppeteer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First chapter from someone else's POV   
> Good old Balthy 
> 
> Bit of suspense

Two seconds. Balthazar was gone all for two seconds and the sight that greeted him when he returned with three coffees balanced carefully on a tray. Empty chairs. For fuck sake. Cassie had promised him that he would not disappear like this on this tour. Balthy placed the tray on the table in the middle of the small set up of chairs and sofas; angrily fishing his phone out of his pocket to dial Castiel’s number. No answer. Bloody typical. He sat heavily into one of the armchairs, chewing his thumbnail absentmindedly as Balthazar tried to figure out a plan of action for getting Cassie to actual pay attention to what Balthy tell him to do. 

Balthazar was about ready to chew through his actual thumb when he saw his phone ringing on the coffee table and a blurry picture appearing on his screen. He grinned as he swiped across the screen answering after only three rings. 

“Hello Darling” 

Balthazar rolled his eyes, examining his other fingernails as he continued the unexpected phone call. 

“Of course not. Cassie is perfectly fine and I am doing an amazing job, thank you...” 

He frowned as he listens to the verbal reply from the person on the other end of the telephone. Balthazar leaned forward in the chair to rearrange several sugar packets that were sat next to his cup of coffee, tearing a corner off one of the packets and dumping the contents of one into his coffee 

“He is absolutely fine, still got an attitude problem. Oh yes, the journalist. Dean… Winchester I think he said his name was and he is no threat to your little plan at all. He is here to “find the truth” but I bet Cassie is going to feed him the same bullshit he feeds every other no talent hack who interviews him to try and find the "Real" Castiel Novak.” 

Balthazar leaned back into the chair, stretching his legs out in front of him and under the table, carefully trying not to knock the table itself. He groans low in the speaker of the phone by accident, grinning at the angry curses words filtering through from the other end of the line. 

“Calm down, I was just stretching and I certainly wouldn't do anything like that with you on the phone. I have other people I can call for that kind of phone call if you get my drift." 

He chuckles, grinning wide at the uncomfortable cough that he heard from the other end. Balthazar glanced down at the watch on his wrist, frowning at the time. 

“Yeah, I got to go and find the prodigal son again. Of course he has wandered off. I am seriously considering putting Cassie on a leash when we are out in public from now on. Yeah, of course. You too Michael, see you soon Brother. Bye" 

Balthazar tossed his phone back onto the coffee table as he took a large gulp of his sweet coffee, sighing in contentment as he felt the caffeine starting to flow through his system almost immediately. He leaned back into the chair, carefully nursing his first cup of coffee of the day as Balthy a weight beginning to lift itself from his shoulders. When Balthazar took over as manager for The Rebellion Garrison, he would of never had guessed it would mean bending over backwards to keep his brothers from killing each other in their sleep. Gabriel and Samandriel were easy to keep happy, stick on a Disney film and give them $100 worth of sweets and they were happier than pigs in muck. But Michael, Luci and Cassie were the hardest to please. Always have been, always will be. 

Michael - always needed to be the leader and whatever he told you to do, you do it without asking any questions. An intimidator with a power complex. 

Luci - the first to rebel against what their parents wanted their lives to become and set his own way in life. No wonder he was named after Lucifer. 

Castiel - Wandering off from important things in his life since he was 7 years old and never listening to a damn thing he is told. He would rather watch the bees or something. 

Then there was Balthazar. Poor little Balthy, the only brother who did his own thing and please his parents at the same time. Not the easiest of things to do but somehow, Balthy had managed it. A manager of a successful band, travelling all over the world. It was just a simple coincident that the band was made up of his brothers and a good friend of the family - Meg. 

Balthazar nearly dropped his coffee into his lap as his own assistant - Crowley - appeared behind him, with a giant stack of paper work in his arms. Fuck. It was definitely going to be a long day. He frowned as he stared up at Crowley but the man in front of him simply shrugged his shoulders before dropping the papers in a chair before disappearing again. Balthy downed the rest of the coffee, glaring at the stack of papers. He reached for another of the three cups of coffee. Balthazar would definitely need all three if he was going to get through the day without killing anyway.


	10. Excuse Me?

The question had been swimming around in Castiel’s since he had woken up that morning to find a gorgeous stranger staring back at him; although Cas should have picked a more appropriate delivery of such a personal question. But his mouth was running a mile or two in front of his brain and before he knew it, Castiel’s mouth was moving and those words he had been repeating to himself for the last hour slipped out. 

“Are you Gay?” 

Cas regretted saying the words as soon he saw Dean’s reaction; or the lack of a reaction. He tilted his head slightly to the side, watching the reporter carefully but nothing. Dean simply stared back with his amazingly green eyes and his mouth only slightly open. After a few moments, it became rather unnerving and Castiel shifted uncomfortably in his seat. 

“I-I’m sorry. Just forget I asked that one, okay? Um…. Are you okay, Dean? I didn’t mean to break you, if I have broken you…”   
They both sat in silence for a few minutes more, sounds of clattering cups and quiet conversation between the few other people in the small café filling the background. Cas bit his bottom lip worrying he had stepped out of a line until Dean finally spoke. 

"No... You haven't broken me..."

"Thank fuck for that. I thought you were either going to cry or throw a punch" 

"No... I wouldn't punch you in such a public place and I don't cry that easily"

“Right… uhh… that’s good, I guess” 

Castiel sighed in relief, taking a small sip of his now lukewarm coffee. He frowned as he glanced over at Dean, he was staring into his own coffee cup as if it held the answer to the universe. Cas picked at one of the napkins underneath his mug as he waited for Dean to speak again. He knew that sometimes he could cross boundaries and not realize it but surely, Dean would forgive him for asking such a question.

Wait... Why did Castiel care about what Dean thought and was feeling? He had only met the reporter this morning and all of a sudden, Cas was talking as if they had known each other for years. He had to stop thinking like that. Dean was assigned to follow him around for 8 months, not to become his friend or anything more. This was ridiculous. 

"I-I'm Gay..." 

That certainly snapped Castiel out of his own thoughts. He looked across the table at Dean, pushing all of those distracting thoughts to the very back of his mind to concentrate on what was going on right in front of him. Cas tried not to grin as he stared over at the other man. 

"You are?" 

"Yes, and I sure as hell shouldn't of told you that I am either"

"Well, why not?" 

"Because..." 

"Because? That isn't really a reason, you know..." 

Cas could see Dean's cheeks getting brighter and brighter as their conversation continued but he was unsure if it was due to anger or embarrassment. It was completely understandable if Dean was angry at him for asking such a personal question and Dean is supposed to be asking Cas questions, not the other way around. But he needed to know this, if Cas had any chance of having something with Dean or not. Fuck. He really needed to stop thinking like that. Nothing could happen between them, even if both them wanted each other. 

Several minutes passed were neither of them said a word, they sipped at their cooling coffees and stole fleeting glances of each other. The silence was growing more and more uncomfortable as more minutes ticked by until - finally - Dean spoke again. 

"I am not out to anyone here - well, apart from you now... News around these parts spread like wild fire and if my father ever found out.... he would disown me in a heartbeat..." 

"A-are you out to anyone at all?" 

Castiel kept his voice low and spoke softly, remembering a similar conversation he had himself with Gabriel several years ago and how his older brother spoke to him. He didn't want to force Dean to talk about this subject but he seriously wanted to know more about the man sat across from him. 

"My brother Sam and his girlfriend Jess. Sammy has always known and I-I told Jess last year..." 

"And you just told me" 

"Yeah... I really shouldn't have told you though. I have only just met you..." 

At least they were on the same page about something. Castiel nodded his head, draining his mug of the remains of the cold coffee. He was unsure about how to continue this conversation without boring Dean even further. Thankfully, his phone began ringing in his pocket and broke the uncomfortable air between them. His ringtone - the opening bars of "I Want it All" by Queen - filling Cas with relief. He smiles sadly over at Dean as he stands to walk outside with his phone. Cas swipes his thumb over the screen, answering the call. 

"What do you want Gabriel?" 

"Where are you? Balthazar is throwing a major fit over you wandering off again and taking that reporter guy with you too" 

"I didn't wander off and I can take care of myself" 

"I know that bro, but you know how bitchy Balthy gets when he doesn't know where you are..." 

Castiel could feel the anger starting to bubble up in his chest. Balthazar doted on him like a mother hen and kept him from doing anything that isn't written down in his precious schedule. It made Cas feel like a tiger in a cage, only being brought out for people to watch for their own amusement or a dancing monkey that you poke with a stick to make it perform. 

“I don’t care Gabriel. I need a damn break from his royal highness and that fucking schedule from hell of his. All of us in the band have been working hard and Balthazar wants us to keep this up for another 8 months. It is going to break us.” 

"I know Castiel but we have to keep at it otherwise he is going to leave. Then what? We are left with no manager and become another washed up rock band. I don't want that to happen to us" 

Cas sighed tiredly through the phone, turning to look at Dean through the window. He was still sat in his seat, with his back painfully straight as he was waiting for Castiel to return. Dean was here to find out the stories about Castiel that aren't printed in the newspapers every week and it was kind of exciting for Cas. He could finally talk about issues that he couldn't talk with every reporter that turns up to interview him. Dean seemed genuinely interested and trustworthy. Damn it. Those ridiculous thoughts again. He rubbed a hand over his eyes as he turns away from the window. 

"I'm tired Gabriel. I can't keep doing this forever. I need a rest" 

"I know bro, you are going to burn out if Balthazar keeps working like this but what are we supposed to do?"

"I don't know" 

Silence filed the line between the brothers as Cas tried to will the approaching headache away. What were they going to do? They couldn't fire Balthazar and they couldn't go on working with him either. 

"Tell Balthazar to stop throwing a hissy fit. I will be at the bus in 10 minutes and Dean is with me." 

"Okay, prepare yourself for a shit storm when you get there though. He is really not happy this time Cas" 

"Thanks Gabe. I'll see you in a few moments" 

"Right bro. Smell you later" 

Castiel rolled his eyes and smiled as he hung up. No matter what crap was going on in their lives, he knew he could rely on Gabriel to cheer him up even if it wasn’t on purpose. Cas quickly returned to his seat, frowning over the table at Dean. He was just staring straight back at Castiel with those unearthly green eyes. Seriously, how can someone’s eyes be that perfect? 

“That was Gabriel. We have to get back to the tour bus” 

“Oh… okay. Umm sure. Let’s go. Do we have to pay for the coffees?” 

“No, I paid in advance yesterday.” 

“That is pretty awesome. Do you do that a lot?”

“Umm… not really. I just really enjoyed finding this place and I thought it be easier” 

“Ahhh… that is really good thinking.” 

Castiel turned to grin over at Dean and his eyes crinkled at the corners slightly. He was starting to enjoy Dean’s company. He had thought that it was a bad idea bringing a reporter on tour with the band but his mind was changing over the matter the more time he spends with Dean. He held the door open for the other man and walked closer than he probably should have with Dean; their shoulders bumping occasionally as they made their way through the busy streets. 

Castiel had to hide his smile as the kept walking together like that. He could definitely get used to spending much more with Dean, even if it didn't mean they were going to have sex. Dean seemed like a man that Cas could grow close to and maybe - one day - they could be together in a relationship. But for now, Castiel was quite content with walking and talking with Dean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was one of the longest I've done so far   
> A lot of dialogue 
> 
> The ending is sorta... meh 
> 
> But after all the chapters are up, I will be going back to edit and correct any mistakes. 
> 
> Thanks again for reading   
> Please leave any comments ~


	11. Oh brother, where art thou?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sooooooooo as Cas mentioned in the last chapter - The conversation   
> This is a flashback chapter   
> Just Castiel and Gabriel   
>  ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~   
> Little bit of warning   
> Mention of injuries   
> Nothing too major or graphic   
> But just warning you x 
> 
>  
> 
> Ps. The ages of the other brothers  
> Gabriel is about 6/7 years older than Cas   
> He would be about 17 / 18 
> 
> Michael is 22  
> Lucifer is 21   
> Castiel is 11  
> Balthazar is 13   
> Samandriel is 4/5
> 
> You get the gist of their ages

~ 15 YEARS BEFORE ~ 

Castiel ran through the front door of their house, tears streaming down his face and mixing with the blood from his nose. His school bag was throw into the kitchen without as much as a second look. He sprinted to his bedroom immediately; ignoring all protests and surprised looks from his family.

The front of his school shirt had a large blood stain from Cas’s broken nose. He lost his tie – running home – and one of his sleeves was ripped at the seam. Castiel’s face was swollen around his left eye and bruising was already forming across his jaw. 

Several hours later – after Castiel had refused to leave his room for dinner – a soft knock came out of his door. The boy lifted his head from where he was curled up under his duvet. He remained silent, willing the person at his door to believe he was asleep and to go away. It didn’t work. Another knock came against the wood, followed by a familiar voice. 

“Castiel… Let me in bro. It’s just me here” 

Gabriel. His ever loving older brother and the best waffle maker Cas has ever known. The small boy wanted to let his older brother in but he hated the thought of explaining the bruising to anyone. He had been embarrassed enough for one day, despite knowing that Gabriel would never laugh or taunt him. 

"Come on Man, my bladder is about to burst and I will pee on your door if you don't open up" 

It was a threat that Cas had heard Gabriel use many times before and he knew he would actually pee on his door to make his point. He walked calmly over and unlocked his door, pouting at Gabriel on the other side. 

“What do you want Gabriel?” 

“Holy shit, what happened to your face?” 

Here we go. Castiel rolled his eyes as best he could; standing aside to allow Gabriel in his room and locking the door again after him. 

“Seriously Cassie, the fuck happened?” 

“I only tolerate Balthazar calling me that so don’t!” 

Cas snapped at the older Novak as he gingerly sat in the chair by his desk, holding his left side. He stared at Gabriel's back as he watched his brother rifling through a box of Castiel's shoes. 

"What do you want Gabriel? I have homework to do..." 

"Well, that is going to be hard to do as your bag is still on the kitchen floor" 

"I was going to come down and get it... eventually" 

“Yeah, I’m sure” 

Castiel rolled his eyes, hissing through his teeth as he twists around to stare at the papers on his desk. Thankfully his nose had stopped bleeding and he could finally stop staining anything he got near. He could hear Gabriel touching random objects on the other side of the room, obviously thinking of something to say. Cas sighed as he heard the older boy clearing his throat to speak. 

"Castiel. Come on, what happened today? You got a busted nose, your face is pretty messed up and I'm guessing your ribs hurt like fuck too." 

He shut his eyes, a lump forming in the back of his throat as he heard the springs in his bed squeak from Gabriel sitting on them. Castiel didn’t want to talk. He just wanted to forget that today even happened and hide under his covers until his face was healed. 

“I know you’ve had a couple of problems at school” 

Understatement of the Century. Castiel hated it there. The boys were rough and bitter. The girls were cruel and vicious. He didn’t belong there at all. The only sort of friend he had in the school was a very nervous boy called Chuck and his own brother Balthazar. But Balthy was two years older than Cas and couldn’t hang around as much as Castiel wanted him to do.

He stood out like a sore thumb at that school and everyone – including his parents – knew that. Since day one, Cas didn’t fit in at all. No one would sit next to him at lunch because they didn’t want to catch his “Strange” way of behaving. His “Strange” way of behaving was wearing socks that were decorated with cartoon bees and an unfashionable trench coat. 

“You know you can tell me anything Kiddo. Right? I mean that too. Anything.” 

“W-We… We’ve been learning about Sex Ed this week and stuff…” 

Cas glanced over his shoulder at Gabriel. His older was staring at him, expression blank and not a single sign of him breaking out into laughter any time soon so he continued. 

“They taught us about r-relationships too… and… and… b-being gay…” 

He kept his eyes straight forward, not risking a look at Gabriel. The lump in his throat made it hard to swallow and he could feel his eyes starting to sting again with tears. 

“I-I know I’m different and I told Chuck that… I-I… I don’t like girls… like… the way the other boys like the girls… and…” 

It all came crashing back to reality and the tears started again. Cas rested his head against the desk, sobbing louder and louder. His ribs screamed out in pain but that didn’t matter. Everything was wrong. He was wrong. They had beaten that into Cas today. That he was wrong and needed to be punished for being gay. Cas's nose cracked when he pressed his face further into the desk, He wanted it all to stop. Why couldn't he be normal for once? Like everyone else. Why did Castiel have to be different? 

He barely noticed Gabriel's hands puling his up from the seat and sitting him on the edge of the bed. His brother sat closer to Cas, a hand still tightly holding his shoulder. Cas still shook with every sob, his entire body throbbing and the words getting stuck in his throat as he tried to speak through the tears. 

“S-Someone… found out… o-older boys… I-I... they… t-they…“ 

Cas’s vision was blurred causing everything to be out of his focus. He willingly laid down as Gabriel pulled him down onto his back, carefully wrapping an arm around Castiel’s shoulders. He hid his face in his older brother’s shirt, longing for the pain to go away. Cas was longing for everything to go away. He could barely hear Gabriel's voice from above him. 

"Its all okay. You are with me. You're safe Castiel. Everything is going to be okay. I promise, little brother."

Gabriel’s voice was soothing, it sounded so soft that no one could hear them from outside that room. His voice seemed to swirl around Castiel’s ears and instantly soothed his nerves. His body stopped shaking as the tears stopped too. Cas’s face stayed hidden in Gabriel’s shirt; the boy wanting to hide away from his fears for the rest of time. His face began to throb in time with a massive impending headache. Cas managed to pull his face from Gabriel's shirt, frowning as he looked up at his older brother. 

"I-I'm sorry... Gabriel... I-I... " 

"It's okay Castiel. I'm not going to be mad because you told me the truth. Now, its your turn to listen to me okay?"

Castiel nodded his head the best he was able to, the pounding of a headache getting closer and closer. He shut his eyes as he listened to Gabriel speak again. 

"Being gay is okay. Don't let anyone tell you different. It is all okay and people who say otherwise. Well... they are a great big bag of dicks." 

He could feel Gabriel chuckling at his own use of swear words. 

"There are going to be quite a few people that are going to tell you that being gay is not okay and that you should be punished for it. They are full of bullshit. Okay? You remember that because there are a lot more people who are gay and who aren't but support gay rights. Still okay down there, bro?" 

"Y-Yeah... What if.... W-what if they hit me again?" 

Cas felt Gabriel shift underneath for a moment, he glanced up at his brother but frowned when he spotted the uneasy expression on Gabriel's face. 

"Then... Then you will stand with your head held high and know that your life is going to be much better than theirs or something like that." 

"T-Thanks Gabriel... I think" 

"Right Bucko. Are you going to come downstairs now? You don't need to explain anything to the rest of them. It can just be between us for now" 

"Yes please..." 

Castiel's stomach had perfect timing and growled loudly at the mere thought of food. He smiled tiredly at Gabriel, carefully lifting himself off of his brother's chest and walking across the room to unlock his door again. Cas spotted Balthazar sat at the bottom of the stair case with a very stern look on his face as he noticed Gabriel and Castiel emerging from his room. 

"Cassie! I was so worried. Are you okay? Do you need me to kill anyone? I will if you want. Crap, look at your nose. Are you really okay? Tell me who did this Cassie and I will smite them in an instant" 

He smiled as Balthazar continued his angry rant with his arm extending wide in wildly exaggerated gestures. Cas smiled at Gabriel as they passed each other at the bottom of the stairs. It felt like a weight had been lifted off Castiel’s shoulders and his chest felt less restricted. He was able to breathe properly again. Cas knew that things were going to be difficult in the future but at that precise moment, he did not care.


	12. Home Sweet Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry that this took forever to post   
> Serious writers block and moving house is to blame 
> 
> Thanks for reading   
> Please comment x

The walk back to where Balthazar had parked the tour bus was a little more difficult that Dean thought it was going to be. Firstly, Balthazar believed in keeping the bus as far away from the hotel as possible – for some ungodly reason. Secondly, they kept getting stopped by people in the street asking Castiel for autographs or photographs. Finally - the real kicker of his whole day so far - Dean's stomach kept leaping each time they bumped shoulders. He was being absolutely ridiculous. Dean had to stop acting like a teenage girl with a crush on some guy who didn't even know they existed. 

He stared straight ahead as they walked further and further out of Kansas’s town centre, following Castiel’s lead blindly. The noise of the city was getting quieter and the quiet atmosphere was starting to get uncomfortable again. Dean needed to break the silence with some form of conversation with Cas but his mind was a complete blank. Think of something Winchester! 

“What are they like? Your brothers?” 

Dean heard Castiel chuckle quietly at his question. He glanced at the man beside him, he was trying so hard not to smile. 

“My brothers are… different. The only thing we all really have in common is our surname” 

“But Balthazar’s surname is Roche?” 

“Balthazar is – of course – the exception to that statement. Technically, we are only half-brothers but I’ve known him for most of my life” 

There was something Dean didn’t know. He always thought that Balthazar was a full Novak brother. Maybe Bobby was right and there was much more to this family than what meets the eye. 

“Same Mom or Dad?” 

"We share a father. My mother took Balthazar in to our home when he was about 3 years old and I was still in nappies" 

"Do you mind if I ask what happened to his biologic mother? If... If that's okay" 

Castiel shrugged his shoulders and Dean tilted his head slightly as he listened closely. His eyes watching a few woman walking on the other side of the street who were pointing at both of them. 

“Balthazar’s birth mother was my father’s secretary at the time. They had been having an affair for 4 years or so. I am sure my mother knew about them but she never said a word to him. Anyway, Balthazar was the result of their affair and my father took responsibility of raising him. I’m not quite sure what ever happened to his biological mother after Balthazar came to live with us.” 

A strange expression flashed across Castiel’s face - something that Dean could not put his finger on. It lasted for only a second but it was still there. A simple flicker of emotion that seemed to change the entire atmosphere of their conversation. They both remained in silence until they rounded the final corner and was met with the sight of a very red-faced Balthazar and Gabriel in a fit of laughter. Dean hid a smile behind his hand as he watched the scene between the brothers unfold in front of him. 

“Gabriel Richard Novak! This is not a laughing matter!” 

“Of course it’s a laughing matter. You seriously need to lighten up Balth…” 

“It is not! I am trying to run a damn tour and you acting like a damn five year old is not helpful at all! I will kick your ass to the fucking curb if you do anything like that again, understand?” 

 

The atmosphere changed within the blink of an eye and the smile from Gabriel's - and Castiel's - face slipped away. Dean could barely see the expression of Balthazar's face but he could certainly tell that the manager was seething with anger from the simple tone of his voice.

“Now, get your goddamn ass on that bus and shut your fucking mouth until we get to the next gig or so help me I shall tape your pie-hole shut.” 

Everyone seemed to follow Balthazar's demand even though it was only directed at Gabriel. Dean followed Castiel closely as they all quickly filed into the tour bus and settled into the "assigned" areas. 

"That doesn't happen as often as you think it does. They usually stay out of each other’s way."

Castiel had already made himself as comfortable as a person could get in a seat on a bus. His head was tilted back and his eyes was closed shut – as if he was sleeping. Dean kept his back straight as he continued to peer over the seat in front of him to catch a glimpse at Gabriel’s incredibly red face a couple of rows in front of him and Cas. 

“Gabriel found a packet of itching powder and managed to put them in Balthazar’s condoms without him noticing anything was wrong” 

There was a slight pause. Dean looked at Cas over his shoulder. It looked almost like – yes – he was trying not to laugh. Premature wrinkles appeared at the corners of the singer’s eyes and his biting his bottom lip in such a way that should be illegal.

Oh fuck no.

Dean could feel his cheeks getting hotter and hotter the more he stared at those pretty pink lips caught between his teeth. There were a thousand and one thoughts running through his head about things he could do with those damn lips. He could kiss them or have them wrapped around his…

Fuck. No. Abort. Abort. 

He shook his head bringing his gaze back up to met with the purest of blue eyes he has ever seen. The colour was so deep that Dean could feel himself drowning in a sea of blue and loving every single moment of it. The smile had faded from Castiel's lips and had been replaced with a small smirk as if the singer could read Dean's mind. 

Fuck, when did he open his eyes? Shit. Shit. Get out of there Winchester! 

"Umm... I-I'll be right back..." 

Dean couldn't have moved out of the seat faster even if his ass was on fire. He hopped a row forward and landed in the seat next to Samandriel. The youngest of the six Novak brothers had been deeply engrossed in a book and seemed quite surprised when Dean smiled across at him. 

"Oh... H-Hello... umm... I'm sorry but I don't know your name..." 

"My bad bud, I'm Dean and you must be Samandriel right?.." 

"Woah, yeah... Sorry but you actually said my name correctly. I normally get called Sam or Sammy..." 

"Yeah, I've been practicing ever since I got this gig. Didn't want to insult you or anything. Do you mind being called Sam?" 

"No, not at all. Just nice to have someone call me by my actual name for once" 

He could feel the tension leaving his shoulders and he could sit back in the seat, finally relaxing for the first time since he dragged himself out of bed this morning. He felt more at ease talking to Samandriel. The kid was beyond smart and quite laid back about being in one of the world's biggest bands but he kept looking over Dean's shoulder every couple of minutes. After a good half an hour of him peering over his shoulder, Dean's curiosity got the better of him. 

"Sam what are you looking at behind me? I don't want to sound rude or anything, Kid" 

"Well, its Castiel. He keeps looking at you in a really strange way" 

"How strange? Give me something to work with here" 

"Well, its like you see in those "coming of age" films. You know, where the boy looks across at the girl all lovingly and the girl catches him so he looks away. That kind of look" 

Dean was definitely not prepared for that at all. Lovingly? Seriously? He turned around to attempt to catch the singer staring at him. Castiel had his eyes closed and looked fast asleep in his seat. He raised an eyebrow at Samandriel as he turned back around in his seat. 

"I swear he keeps looking at you Dean!" 

This was ridiculous. He had no doubt that Samandriel was telling the truth, the kid had no reason to lie to him. But why would Castiel be staring at him in the way that Samandriel told him? Dean caught a glimpse of a sign out of the window. 

Tacoma, Washington - 1600 Miles

Fuck. Nearly 2000 miles to the next stop in The Rebellion Garrison's tour and Dean was stuck on a bus with the prima donna of all front men and his band who think that Castiel has a thing for him. This was going to be one hell of a tour.


	13. This is Your Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael's Point of View 
> 
> This is set a day after the last chapter   
> Hopefully things will make more sense in the next couple of chapters

Michael flipped through the latest issue of some rag mag that had been left on his desk that morning with his feet firmly rested on top of his desk. His coffee mug placed carefully within reaching distance with no fear of knocking it over the papers spread across the floor near his antique desk. 

It contained the usual crap pieces of journalism that seemed to have the public enthralled to buy the magazine over and over again. The articles maybe the results of some wannabe novelist polish a turd of a news item but the various headlines did amuse him in a slightly ironic way. Not so many moons ago, Michael was on the front page of every magazine, newspaper and anything in-between. Now, he gets to sit back reading the ridiculous articles. 

MY HUSBAND DOESN’T KNOW IM HIS WIFE – BUT I STILL LOVE HIM 

Michael chuckled quietly as he skimmed over the details that the reporter had outlined. A man who had extreme short term memory loss could not remember marrying his wife of 3 years. He flipped over onto the next page of the magazine when that particular story lost his interest. 

I LOVE MY LAPTOP SO MUCH THAT I MARRIED IT WITHOUT MY PARENTS KNOWING 

Truly a ridiculous story of a teenage shut-in applying for a marriage license for himself and his PC. He rolled his eyes as he continued to read more stories that kept getting more and more impossible to believe until he was greeted with a familiar face. A grainy photo of his younger brother walking and smiling with another man he did not recognise close by, also smiling. 

THE REBELLION GARRISON LEAD SING GOT A BOYFRIEND? 

 

Michael’s leg jerk unexpectedly jerked and sent his coffee mug flying across the room and spilling its contents on a set of blue prints he had spread across the floor as well as his papers. 

“Fuck. Fuckity fuck. Stupid coffee mug”

He could worry about that mess later but now he had more pressing matters on his mind. Michael sat with his back painfully straight in his leather chair, his feet planted firmly back on the floor. He closely examined and read the article several times. 

“Castiel Novak – lead singer of The Rebellion Garrison – was seen yesterday morning walking with an equally handsome man through Kansas city centre. People nearby first spotted the pair exiting a small café practically hand in hand with each other. Our sources inform us that the man’s name is Dean Winchester – a reporter for Singer’s magazine. It is to be believed that Mr Winchester is accompanying the band on their latest tour but we have reason to believe that Mr Novak and Mr Winchester are in a relationship together” 

Michael ripped the magazine in two and then again into smaller pieces. The paper easily coming apart between his fingers as the bubble of anger in his chest growing hotter and more intense every time he ripped the pages apart. 

All of the hard work he had done over the years to create Castiel the reputation of being a lady’s man and completely untouchable by anybody had been destroyed in a matter on moments by this Dean Winchester. Michael threw the remains of the magazine across the room, placing his elbows on his desk and holding his head in his hands.

Michael’s name was still in the copyrighting documents for the band. If they don’t sell albums then he doesn’t get more money from his little brother’s “talent.” This could not be happening right now. No one would want to see some fairy prancing around the stage, pretending he is Freddie freaking Mercury. He needed to do something to make sure that Castiel scared this possible love interest away and quickly.

 

Michael’s plan to get Castiel to question Balthazar’s managing style by running him into the ground seemed to have been working but it wasn’t fast enough. He sat back in his chair, his hands clenched tightly into fists on the arms of the chair. Something needed to happen and it needed to happen now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A very short chapter 
> 
> In case anyone is confused - including myself - Michael wants Cas to get so pissed at how Balthazar Is managing the band that Michael gets asked back to manage The Rebellion Garrison and in turn gets more money. 
> 
> So sorry for the slut use but Michael is a very big dick and that is how I think he would think about it. So sorry. I don't like using slurs or anything negative like that at all but sometimes you have to when writing. 
> 
> Anyway  
> Thanks for reading as always  
> Please comment x


	14. Midnight Train

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas has a plan to get into Dean's knickers and Yes. I am going to write some smut in a bit. Early warning but none for this chapter.

Castiel watched the street lights flicker as the bus drove down another interstate somewhere in the middle of “who gives a fuck.” The migraine had started about half an hour ago and hadn’t eased at all. Everything was starting to piss Cas off. The endless number of street lights passing by them, the sound of Balthazar snoring behind him and the fucking beautiful sight of Dean sleeping next to Samandriel. No one should look so flawless whilst asleep. Let alone some guy that just happened to be gay as well and that may actually like Cas. Nope. He was not going to do this to himself again. 

God, he needed a break from all of this. The constant touring was going to kill him or was going to drive him to kill one of the other band members. Castiel loved all of his brothers – and Meg – dearly but being confined in close proximity with each other for this long is just ridiculous and sure to send anyone a little crazy. He pulled the hood of his jacket over his head trying to muffle the outside world but the noise in his head would not go away. 

He carefully walked down the aisle between the seats and leaned against the seat just behind the driver – Crowley had been Balthazar’s loyal assistant for a couple of months now. He was a few years old and had a slight temper at times but Crowley seemed like a good man to Cas. 

“Where are we at the moment?” 

“Somewhere between Kansas and Washington. Your guess is as good as mine at the moment, Ducky. I follow the GPS not the signs” 

Great. In the middle of fuck knows where and stuck on a bus full of his idiot brothers, a bass player who wants to fuck him 24 hours each day and a reporter that Castiel couldn’t get out of his mind. He needed rest or a day away from the noise to soothe his nerves. 

“How are we away from the nearest town?” 

“Well, it says about 10 miles so about 20 minutes away.” 

Castiel pulled his wallet out of his back pocket and fished several bills out of the largest compartment before shoving them in Crowley’s shirt pocket. 

“There is $150, drop me off as soon as we hit the next town and don’t say a word to Balthazar about this” 

“What?! I can’t do that. No matter how much you pay me to keep quiet!” 

“Will you keep your damn voice down? I need time away from… this… Crowley. Otherwise I am going to kill someone, most likely Balthazar. I won’t be gone for long. Just a day or two and I will take the heat when I come back. I promise, you won’t get in trouble” 

He could see the frustration in Crowley’s reflection on the windshield. It was true; Castiel needed a break from touring and this was the perfect opportunity. He will disappear under the cover of darkness like in a film and return as quietly as he left. 

“If I get fired because of this I am going to kick your arse Novak” 

Castiel grinned wide almost like a Cheshire cat and nearly jumped away from the seat in excitement. 

“Thanks Man. I appreciate this so fucking much, you don’t even know” 

"Whatever, grab a light bag and try not to wake the boss. He would skin me alive if he found out I helped you disappear during the night." 

He scrambled back to his original seat and grabbed the backpack on the empty seat next to his. It had basic essentials: Underwear, shirts, socks, condoms and a toothbrush. The very basic needs of what Castiel planned for his time off. However, the next part is a bit more tricky than paying Crowley to let him sneak off the bus. The next part was to get Dean to join him in his little adventure. This was going to end so badly and Cas was sure that Balthazar would wake up any second just to scream at him for trying to sneak away. 

"Hey Man. Are you awake?" 

Castiel gently shook Dean's shoulder, hoping to God or anyone who would listen that he wasn't that deep in sleep. Samandriel was fast asleep net to him and his face was pressed against the window of the tour bus. Cas kept listening closely to Balthazar’s snoring to make sure the manager fast asleep like the everyone else. He shook the reporter’s shoulder again and this time Dean woke up looking very confused and adorable as fuck in the process. Shit. Even in the dark, Dean’s eyes fucking sparkled like something mystical.

“Hey. Can you get your bag quietly and creep to the front of the bus with me?” 

Dean was obviously not quite awake enough yet to fully understand what Castiel was asking of him. It took an enormous amount of self-control not for Cas to grin at the cute as hell look on his face right at the moment as he tried to comprehend what he was being told. 

“Wait… w-what?” 

“Grab your bag and get to the front but do it quietly” 

Castiel didn’t give Dean the chance to argue back; he turned his back and tiptoed up the front again and sat on the edge of the seat behind Crowley. He could see the drive glance back at him every so often and simply shake his head before returning his attention back to the road ahead. He had this small in the back of his head – that sounded strangely like Michael – telling him that this was wrong and that he was letting people down by sneaking off like this again but he needed time away. He needed time to regroup and then he could come back even stronger than before and prove everyone wrong. 

Castiel sat completely still with his eyes firmly fixed on the approaching lights of the town. He barely acknowledged Dean sitting on the seat to the left of him with a small canvas bag by his side. Once Crowley gently stopped the bus outside what looked to be a hotel, Cas pulled Dean off the bus by his wrist and waved Crowley quickly on so Balthazar didn't have time to wake up and work out was going on. Castiel sighed in relief that his plan actually worked as he watched the tour bus disappear around a corner and there was no sound or sight of an angry Balthazar storming towards them to drag them back to the bus. 

Finally. Castiel grinned over at Dean who was still looking very confused at this point and still had that too cute look on his face. He threw back his head in laughter at the pleasure of being free to whatever he wanted to do for a few hours and not have to answer to a certain Balthazar Roche. The joy of being able to get some rest and actually relax for once overtook Castiel and he wrapped his arms around Dean in a tight hug that lasted slightly longer that most people would be comfortable with from a complete stranger. When Cas finally went to pull away from the embrace, he noticed Dean had - albeit hesitantly – wound his arms around Cas’s waist and was holding him as if he was going to hurt it him. Castiel smiled softly at Dean as he felt a strange warming feeling starting to fill his chest as he continued to stare into the eyes of the reporter. 

It was ridiculous how much Dean’s eyes sparkled in the dark. Cas had never seen someone with such beautiful eyes before and he just tightened his arms around Dean’s shoulders slightly instinctively. They were so close to each other and it was just like they were imitating a scene from an old black and white romance film. Castiel could hear his heart thumping as loud as anything else and his stomach was tying itself in tight knots as he saw Dean's eyes flick down to his mouth and then back up to his eyes again. 

He had thought about kissing Dean over the last day and a bit. Every time Dean spoke to him or was talking to another person; Cas would get the strong urge to grab him with both hands and kiss him there and then in front of whoever was there. Now, he had the chance to actually kiss Dean and he was the most nervous he has ever been in his life. Castiel tilted his head slightly to the right and inched his face closer to Dean's own. The journalist didn't back away or let his arms go from around Castiel's waist. They were so close now that Cas could count each one of Dean's freckles as their noses brushed together. This was pure torture and Cas couldn't take it anymore. He quickly closed the small space between their lips and let his eyes fall shut. It was slightly awkward to begin with but to Castiel; it was the most perfect kiss he could have ever imagined and surpassed his expectations of Dean by a country mile. 

HIs lips were soft and he smelt like a mix of cinnamon, coffee and vanilla. Cas slid his hands slowly into Dean's hair, carefully not trying to cross a line or go too far and have Dean pull away. He tugged gently to have Dean tilt his head as Cas began to deepen the kiss and he was thrown off guard when he heard and felt Dean moan against his mouth. Cas cant remember the last time he heard a sound that was so perfect and turned him on so much that he was ready to drop his pants there and then. Fuck whatever Michael, Balthazar and whoever else thought about him. In this moment here, Castiel felt perfect and he wanted it to last even longer. Castiel gently tugged at Dean's hair again and soon heard that beautiful sound of the other man moaning into his mouth. Sadly, he had to pull back from the kiss to catch his breath but he rested his forehead against Dean's whilst keeping his eyes close to savour the moment they were in. 

"C-Cas..." 

Castiel didn't want for it to be over this quickly; he wanted to stay like this with Dean for just a little while longer yet. He squeezed his eyes shut tighter, pretending he didn't hear Dean. It didn't work at all. 

"Castiel... we need to go..." 

No. I don't want to. I want to stay here and kiss you again, Castiel thought to himself. This was ridiculous - They were not in a relationship and this is definitely not Romeo and Juliet. 

"Cas, we really need to go. Right this second" 

He was very confused about Dean's hurry to get away. Maybe he didn't like being kissed by Cas or maybe Cas had overstepped the mark. He shifted and stilled when he felt something against his hip. At that moment, Dean rolled his hips and pressed his hardening cock against Cas's hip more obviously to get his message across to his singer. Fuck, he was hard just from a kiss and Cas could feel his own cock twitch in interest. 

"Castiel. Please. We need to go otherwise I'm going to beg you to fuck me right here..." 

Fuck. Castiel groaned from the back of his throat and ground his own crotch against Dean's hip. They definitely needed to go somewhere and have some real fun. Thank God for Crowley and the fact he dropped them outside a small hotel that looked half decent. Tonight Cas was going to show Dean the real side of him and hopefully get the reporter to bend over backwards for me - in the literal sense. 

This was going to be a night to remember.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter popped in my head whilst I was having dinner so I quickly wrote it but I have edited some parts of it. So sorry if this is confusing. 
> 
> Oh yeah, I mixed the chapters up a little. This one should really go before Michael's chapter but my bad. Let's just pretend that I know what I'm doing and I didn't mix them up. 
> 
> This is one of the longest chapters I've written so far. Its nearly 2000 words. I think I've passed the 15,000 word count now. Woo for insomnia and the lack of writers block. 
> 
> Please comment and thanks for reading x


	15. Rainbow in the Dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here we go   
> Buckle your seatbelts   
> Hold onto your socks 
> 
> This is the Smut   
> So here is the warning 
> 
> Majorly bad smut and Majorly bad language  
> Those two always come hand in hand   
> So will Dean and Cas

Fuck. Fuck. What the hell was he doing? No this was wrong. Dean had to pull away and stop this before they did something they both would regret. One kiss was not going to hurt anyone but practically dry humping each other in public was another matter entirely. No. They had to stop this. They needed to... 

Castiel chose that exact moment to grind himself against Dean's hip and his brain melted away any thoughts about this being wrong. His "other brain" took over causing Dean to grab Cas's hips and rock them together. Dean couldn't take this anymore. He needed to get the singer somewhere private so they could really have some fun together. Castiel must have been a mind reader as he dragged Dean into the building they were dropped off in front of and - Thank God - it was a hotel. The man at the front desk had a very peculiar expression on his face when they managed to pull away from each other long enough to check in but that all changed once they were inside the elevator. 

Dean was pressed against one of the walls as soon as the elevator doors clicked shut and Cas was grinding against his hips with his mouth firmly attached to his neck, sucking a rather deep mark wherever he could reach. 

Fuuuuck.

So, this was how Dean was going to die; with the hardest erection he has ever had in his life and a rock star rutting up against him like a dog in heat. At least he was going out with a bang. Dean mentally slapped the back of his head. This was no time to be making very bad puns.

His brain caught up with what Cas was doing and leapt into action. Dean growled as his hands gripped the singer’s jacket before spinning them both around to press Cas against the wall of the elevator. His turn to drive Castiel crazy. Dean pressed a thigh in-between Cas’s legs, grinding it down onto the singer’s hard cock whilst he dragged his teeth almost teasingly across the sensitive spot underneath Cas’s ear. He could feel the singer shudder against him and a beautifully pornographic groan is pulled from the back of Cas’s throat. That was a sound that Dean would never get tired of hearing even if this was a one night stand and they never do this again; Dean will definitely not forget those sinful noises. 

The elevator doors finally "pinged" open onto an empty floor; Cas pushed hard against Dean and grinned over his shoulder as he pushed open the first door visible and Dean quickly follows after him. He manages to kick the door close behind them before pulling his own shirt off. He looked over at the singer - who was toeing his shoes off and was already topless - the striking black ink stood out against his pale skin. The lines curved around his shoulder blades and followed to indent of his spine; connecting into the shape of wings. 

"Like what you see?..."

Castiel didn't turn around as he spoke to Dean but he could easily see the singer tense the muscles in his back and pull his shoulders back as he stood straighter. Dean shook his head to drive away the impending nerves as he slowly walked up behind Castiel and pressed his bare chest against the singer's back. Wait. Why was he nervous? He has done the whole “sex with strangers” thing. This is no different. A simple night of great fucking and nothing else. But Dean could feel the nerves starting to creep into his bones and cause his hands to shake slightly. 

Dean smirked as he slowly wandered over to the singer, he gently ran his fingers down Cas's sides before settling them on his hips as he murmurs low into his ear. 

"How do you want this?..."

His voice sounded absolutely wrecked already just from the rutting against each other in the elevator. Dean can't remember the last time he grinded like this against someone - maybe when he was a teenager with some girl whose name he has long since forgotten. Being with a girl and pretending to be turned on by them was never as good as having two rough hands gripping his hips and a deep voice rumbling in his ear. 

Dean needs to stop spacing out during times like these. Before he knows what is going; Castiel is kneeling in front of him with Dean’s hard cock in his hand and stroking almost teasingly. Fuck. How did he not realize he was doing that? He bucked his hips forward slightly, moaning under his breath at the maddening friction or lack of from the singer’s hand. Dean managed to snake a hand into Cas’s hair a second ahead of him engulfing the head of his cock with his mouth and… Shit… He teased at the slit with the tip of his tongue as he stared up at Dean with those fucking perfect blue eyes. Fuck – Dean was going to lose it if he kept staring into those baby blues for much longer. 

Dean tilted his head back to stare up at the ceiling as a low groan bubbled up from somewhere in the back of his throat. This was another great thing of being with a guy, they knew how to give great head and.. Fuck! Castiel definitely knew what he was doing to Dean. The singer took him deeper into his mouth until the head of Dean's cock hit the back of his throat and the muscles fluttered around the intrusion. He held his hips still as Cas stroked the last part of his cock with his hand that he couldn't fit in his mouth. Dean had been blessed in one certain department and going by the impressive tent in his trousers, so was Castiel. 

He tightened his grip slightly as a moan from Castiel vibrated through him and a shot of pleasure went straight through his spine. Dean cracked an eye open to catch a glimpse of the singer’s jeans open and his right hand furiously stripping his own cock. The red head was dribbling precome, making the slide of his hand create the most lewd sounds that had Dean gripping his hand in Cas's hair as he pressed his hips forward into the wet heat of his mouth. 

Fuck. Fuck. Holy fuck a fuck. 

Dean's brain has official stopped functioning and all of his thoughts were fuzzing over with pleasure. He could already feel the heat starting to build and settle low in his hips as each groan, moan and little noise slipped from his lips. He didn't want it to end so soon but Castiel kept hallowing his cheeks and tease the leaking slit with every bob of his head. It was getting too much to hold onto anymore, he was close to the edge now that a single thing could tip him over. He glanced down at Cas still on his knees with his eyes glued on Dean's face and. Fuck. Those damn blue eyes and that is all it took. A simple look into Castiel's eyes had his eyes rolling into the back of his head and his cock pulsing as he came hard into the singer's mouth. Dean glanced back down long enough to see Cas bucking his own hips into the tunnel of his fingers and coming equally as hard across Dean's lower leg and the hotel carpet. 

Well, fuck. That was amazing and by the way Castiel happily drank him for every drop of come he could get from him - Dean liked to think the singer enjoyed it just as much as he did. But something was wrong. The atmosphere had changed whilst he was basking in the warm post-orgasm glow that was still lingering around as he pulled up his underwear and his jeans. Cas wasn't looking at him. In fact, he was completely blanking Dean's existence. Had he missed something in the last few seconds? They both came, hard. Dean was all happy and Castiel... Nope. His brain drew up a blank. Maybe he should say something. 

“W-Was that… okay?”

Anyone could hear the uncertainty in Dean's voice but Castiel still would not look at him. The singer simply stood and arranged himself back into his trousers properly and busied himself with unpacking a small backpack he had brought. His face was still flushed that continued down onto his chest and up to the tips of his ears. Okay, this was not going as well as Dean though it would be going at this point. Did he do something wrong? Overstep a line? Should he apologize? 

"I'm sorry?..." 

He could see Castiel's shoulders drop as his hands stilled from sorting through the bag. Dean waited quietly for an answer as Cas pulled a clean t-shirt over his head and smoothing out the wrinkles that have formed from its tight confinement in the backpack. He blush still had not faded from his cheeks - it seemed to have deepened in colour - Dean simply did not understand what had happened to make Cas ignore him after what they had just done with each other. Dean watched quietly as the singer made his way to the door, pausing for a moment to look over his shoulder with those stupid blue eyes. They were glimmering with unshed tears which made the colour as vibrant as Dean has ever seen them. 

“I am sorry Dean. I truly am sorry” 

That was that. Castiel walked out of the door, letting it click softly behind him and left Dean in the grim stillness of the room. The evidence of what they had done was still at his feet and Dean was still utterly confused. But he had a small inkling that he would not be seeing Castiel Novak again any time soon. Job or not. He was going to be left here without an explanation and the haunting memories of Cas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry this took forever to post - blame the brain 
> 
> Also, I think I broke 18,000 words with this chapter   
> Woo! 
> 
> Congrats to anyone who has held on for this long   
> Please leave your comments   
> Thanks for reading X


	16. Straight Through the Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't think that I tagged him but bid welcome to Ash   
> He is in this chapter   
> I rewatched a few earlier episodes and I remembered how awesome Ash was so he is making a quick appearance

Castiel’s stomach sank as soon as he pulled the hotel room door close behind him. His head was still swimming as he made the rather short journey to the elevator, pressing the button for the ground floor of the hotel. As soon as the doors close, Cas felt his knees buckle underneath him and he threw out a hand to catch himself from collapsing on the floor of the elevator. All of the painful memories of hiding who he was came crashing down onto him all at once and caused Cas’s stomach to churn uncomfortably, making him gag slightly. 

Why the hell did he walk out on Dean like that? 

No one – except for a massive asshole – would walk out on someone as gorgeous as Dean that wanted to be with Castiel and he just walked out on him. Only a huge assbutt would walk away from someone who didn't care about what was in his pants or who he was pretending to be onstage. He is the biggest idiot in the world. Castiel knew that he had been practically pining for Dean over the last couple of days and now, when he has the chance to be that close to a man who wants him in return - he walks away. So

What the fuck was he doing?

He was barely aware of the elevator doors opening before him; Cas stood there for several minutes with his eyes glued to his feet in an attempt to keep himself from collapsing again or even puking all over his shoes. Everything around him was closing in and Castiel needed to get out. His steps were echoed on the solid wooden floor as he crossed from the elevators through the quaint foyer. There were only a few arm chairs placed scarcely around the main area of the room but there was a charming feeling about them – Maybe it was the detailed floral print each chair was adorned with or the soft texture of the covers. Castiel tried to ground his mind by brushing his fingers along the frame of a chair as he walked past one but he was too far gone in his own head. 

The night porter was quietly dozing behind his desk with his hands resting on his rather large belly. To the left-hand side of his station was what seemed to be the hotel bar but it was completely empty apart from a younger man clearing rubbish that was still situated on a table near the entrance. Castiel did not make his presence known to the man and simply stood watching his deliberate movements passing from the table to a small trash can across the room and then back again. It was not until all of the rubbish had been cleared that the man glanced in the direction of the entrance and saw Castiel watching him closely. 

“Holy crap Man. How long have you been staring at me like some vampire or something? You should wear a bell if you creep up on people like that.” 

Castiel didn’t grant the man a reply, he dropped his gaze to the floor as his cheeks began to heat up in much unneeded embarrassment. The smallish man – who seemed to be sporting a rather grand looking mullet – looked completely dumbfounded by Castiel’s strange manner. 

“Well – um.., They call me Ash around these parts but if you ever hear a guy ask for Ronnie then I am not here. Anyway man, I can see you are not really looking for my company tonight. So, I can leave the main stage light on for you, if you want?” 

Cas nodded his head as he made his way towards the front of the bar until he reached the small raised stage with a relatively large piano and stool sat on top of it. There was even the lingering smell of stale cigars and wasted beer as Castiel perched himself on the piano bench. Castiel smiled slightly as he mind began to clear again with old memories of playing in bars - quite similar to this one in fact – when he was younger. He skimmed his fingers over the keys, feeling the dust from a lack of use sticking to his hands in the process. That didn’t matter. Castiel would drag himself through hell and back to simply use a piano like this again. To be able to feel each note vibrate through his fingertips as he sang would settle the ever growing storm in his mind. It had been years since Castiel had been allowed to play as well as sing; Michael did not see the attraction of playing such a large instrument when he could earn a living from just his voice. 

“It’s the sensitivity of every key, Michael. I can play anything on the piano. I can’t sing everything you want.” 

“People win money from hitting a note for 3o seconds on some pity talent show. You have talent and we need to show the world before a new act grabs the opportunity whilst you are playing something ridiculous like Mozart or… whatever. You are out there to make money, nothing more. Do I make myself clear, Castiel?” 

That was a conversation that Castiel will definitely not be forgetting for the rest of his life. It was the same day that Cas learnt to listen to whatever his eldest brother told him and to obey Michael – no matter how ridiculous his orders were. It was certainly not the first nor the last time that Michael would force his "logic" upon a younger Castiel. He was only 16 when Michael found out - probably from Balthazar - that he was gay and it went down like a lead balloon. Castiel ended up with a fractured jaw and Michael had a black eye, split lip and a broken wrist - thanks to Gabriel stepping in to defend his little brother. Since then, whenever the subject of his own or anybody’s sexuality came up Michael would unknowingly rub his wrist as he spouted complete bullshit as usual.

Most days, Castiel could handle the occasional off comments to complete strangers, the odd word that made his blood start to boil and even the disgusted looks that Michael would send Cas when he thought his young brother would not notice them. After nearly 3 years of being subjected to these extremely prejudice and homophobic rants, Castiel gave into his brothers “teachings” and started an extremely unhappy relationship with the first girl who agreed to it. It just so happen to be Meg, who wanted to be a part of the band for the long run. From then on; in any interview when Castiel was questioned about his marital status, he would grin d his teeth before smiling and spouting a load of rehearsed lines about his kinship with Meg.

After all those years of hearing such demeaning language about himself from one of the people who should be supporting him, Castiel began to believe it himself slightly. Maybe that is why he left Dean standing there. Perhaps he panicked. Everything that he was forced to believe by his older brother was wrong and Castel had finally gained back some of his freedom. 

He closed his eyes as he pressed his fingers down onto the keys to begin a soft melody that he learnt many years ago. Before his mind was flooded with the poisonous delusions of Michael. The smooth tune continued as he glided his fingers over the ivories with a faint smile on his face. All of the words he could hear in Michael’s voice in his head were being washed away by the gentle sounds of the piano. The very thing that started this brainwashing project of Michael’s now wiped away all of Castiel’s fears and the hesitation about being gay he learnt from his eldest brother. Castiel could be who he wanted to be now, he could be with whoever he wanted to be with and enjoy being with them. He had his life back - albeit a small portion of his life. 

Castiel didn’t notice the tears rolling down his cheeks until a warm arm wound itself around his waist and held him closer to the body it was connected to. Dean. Cas did not even need to look away from the keys to know that it was Dean with an arm around him and trying to pull him closer. His vision began to blur even more as the melody faded into silence once more. It was all too much and it scared him to have this much freedom again. He turned slightly to wrap his arms around Dean’s shoulders and bury his face into the crook of the other man’s neck. In nearly three days, Castiel’s life had been flipped on its head by one reporter who caught his eye and made him rethink everything. His body shook as more tears came but Dean soothingly rubbed his hand in a large circle over Cas’s back.

Finally, the tears stopped and he sniffed quietly as his face was still half buried in Dean’s neck; by this time, Castiel was exhausted beyond measure and all he wished for was a warm bed and a rather warm journalist to join him for the night. Thankfully, Dean seemed to read his mind and dragged Cas back upstairs to their room without saying a word to each other. He was too emotionally drained to look at the mess they had made earlier - that was still on the floor. After helping Castiel strip down to his somewhat ruined underwear and ridding himself of his own clothes, Dean scooted into the bed and flings an arm over Cas's waist like they had been doing this for years. There was the thing that made Castiel's heart beat faster in his chest. They had not been doing this for years, they have barely known each other for three days and already he was thinking about being with Dean. That was a ridiculous thought. He must have been fidgeting or something because the next minute Dean is gently kissing the back of his neck whilst pulling Cas closer – if that is possible – to his chest. 

“Go to sleep Cas. I’ll be here in the morning and we can talk then…” 

That was all Castiel needed, the confirmation that Dean wanted to be here and that he didn’t feel obligated to stay with Cas. He could feel the warm waves starting to wash over him as he allowed his eyes to shut before slipping away into one of the deepest sleeps he has had in quite a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Guys 
> 
> Hopefully, this chapter clears up why Cas walked out on Dean   
> So sorry about this chapter. I am writing it at 3am because Insomnia is a bitch
> 
> Thanks for reading x


	17. November Rain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holy Wack-a-moley   
> I am pass 20,000 words!   
> Woo!   
> Time to celebrate with a Dean chapter that I hated writing 
> 
> Quick warning   
> There is a mention of John and a slur   
> If you want to skip - when I upload more chapters   
> Go for it. This is just a filler chapter thingamajig

There was a large bubble of anger and frustration clawing its way up into Dean’s chest, burning into the pit of his stomach. A thin veil of red fell over his mind as the outrage grew until he began to shake where he stood. His hands balled themselves up into tight fists by his sides as he breathed heavily through his nose in an attempt to keep himself from tearing the room to shreds. Who the fuck walks out on someone he had just… done that with? He needed to break something. Dean glanced around the room quickly, looking for something that wasn’t too expensive that he could destroy to calm his nerves. 

DVD Player? No

TV set? Was he trying to be Ozzy? No 

Trouser press? How do you even use a trouser press? No 

Dean started to feel the anger dissipate throughout his chest and leaving a strange tingly feeling in the tips of his fingers from clenching his hands too tightly. His shoulders slumped in a final surrender and he flopped down onto the bed; staring aimlessly at the ceiling. Dean’s jeans were still unbuttoned causing them to hang lower on his hips than they should normally. 

Why had Castiel walked away? 

Dean was certain that he had not overstepped his boundaries – well, in any way that he hadn’t already by his little sexual adventure with an international rock star. Dean groaned as he flung an arm over his face to block out some of the light. He could reach over to the bedside table to switch off the lights but that required moving. Dean needed to devote his energy to thinking what could have provoked Castiel into leaving so suddenly. Okay, so he was sure that it was not down to him. What did Cas say right before he left? 

“I am sorry Dean. I am truly sorry.” 

Why would Castiel say he was sorry? Was he sorry for walking out on him? Maybe. Dean scrambled his mind for anything else that could have happened to make Cas leave like that. Right, time to think outside the box. 

Could he be sorry for sucking Dean’s dick like a fucking champ? Definitely not.

Maybe he was sorry for enjoying himself too much. 

Something clicked inside of Dean’s head. A small inkling. Maybe Castiel was sorry for enjoying himself and… freaking out about enjoying it. That must be at least part of the problem but why the hell would he be freaking out about… what they did? 

He could hear the heavier rain hitting against the window on the furthest wall from the bed. It was hardly surprising to Dean that it was raining. It was the start of November and the air was getting cooler and cooler every day. A memory of a gut wrenching feeling of guilt and dread after having his first ever encounter of the sexual kind with another guy. Dean had been raised with a strict and extremely homophobic father – the infamous John Winchester – who practically beat into him and Sammy that being gay was wrong and they would be sent straight to hell if they even talked to “one of those faggots.” Crap. 

Another memory crept into the forefront of his mind, the day he came out to Sammy after the poor kid had walked in on him and some guy called Patrick. That was a day he would never forget. His little brother being so supportive that Dean could live with the close minded attitude of his father. Dean remembered how terrified he was before coming out to Sammy. The fear of his father finding out that Dean was gay has kept him in the closet to this day. Maybe Castiel was feeling the same way right now. Perhaps he had been taught that being with another man was a sin too. Shit. Everything started to make more sense the longer Dean laid in the dark with the rain thumping against the glass pane; He needed to find Cas. 

Dean yanked his jeans higher up his hips after rolling himself off the side of the bed and making his way to the door. He grimaced as he noticed the mess they had made that was still sitting at the end of the bed. He made a small mental note to clean that up later on – they didn’t need some bellboy finding that and selling his story to every magazine who were after a scoop on Castiel. He beat out a small rhythm on the wall as he waited - not so patiently - for the elevator. A few minutes later and Dean was striding across the lobby of the hotel. There was an older man with a large belly fast asleep behind the front desk with a small trail of drool hanging out of his open mouth. 

Out of the corner of his eye, Dean noticed there was a light on the furthest part of the bar. There was a small raised platform that someone could call a "stage" with a scattering of tables and chairs arranged on top of and between the tables as if someone had gotten interrupted whilst cleaning the bar area. Dean began to slowly make his way through the haphazardly placed chairs being particularly careful not to make any sudden noises to break the concentration that Castiel was obviously giving the piano in front of him. The closer that Dean got to Cas and the piano, he could hear the soft music that he was playing. There was a warm yet sad feeling to the melody and Dean thought he recognized it from somewhere but he couldn’t pinpoint it. 

He needed to let Castiel know what he was going through but he didn’t want to ruin the atmosphere that he seemed entranced in at the moment. Dean gently perched on the other end of the piano bench – still unsure if he was even allowed to touch Castiel. Dean took a chance and wound an arm around the singers waist to pull him closer and that was when he could feel Cas begin to shake and sob. All Dean could do was hold him through the emotional episode and comfort him as much as possible on this small piano bench.

It was only when Cas stopped shaking in Dean’s arms that he dragged the singer back upstairs. From his own experience he knew that Cas would need a quiet safe place after such an emotional ordeal. He quickly rid himself of his clothes, frowning at the mess still on the carpet at the end of the bed. Dean climbed in after Castiel and pressed himself against his back. It was slightly similar to the position they were in earlier but this was different. This wasn't about bring each pleasure, this was simply about comfort and warmth. Dean felt the muscles of Cas's back contract and he could barely see him grinding his teeth in the dimly light. He pulled Cas closer, turning him slightly to press him against his own chest. 

“Go to sleep Cas. I’ll be here in the morning and we can talk then…” 

The warmth of sleep started to creep into Dean's bones quicker than he imagined it would that night. The rain had quietened down and the dull pitter-patter lulled Dean into a state of calmness and relaxation. He tightened his arm instinctively around Castiel as he started to fall asleep. This was definitely not what he had thought being on tour with The Rebellion Garrison was going to be like at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter is a bit hit and miss with me   
> I wrote this chapter before the last one   
> But then I changed the order and things got weird   
> Blame the insomnia and lack of sugar 
> 
> Anyway, thank you for reading   
> Please leave any comments x


	18. Telephone Line

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Then Thunder echoes in accord  
> as from the sky, cold rain is poured.  
> And silent shadows start to shrink  
> into a night of blackened ink 
> 
> Andrea Dietrich

Nope. Nope. Nope. It was too fucking early to even think about being conscious. Castiel mustered enough energy to crack open one eye but he grimaced as he read the time as ‘3:58am’. Way too early to be awake. A white flash blazed across the windows of the hotel room and cast eerie shadows onto the bed and floor. Castiel blinked again just in time to hear a large, low rumble of thunder which made him flinch backwards, further into the bed and under the covers. 

Normally, he was fascinated by thunderstorms. Castiel found them to be hauntingly beautiful in a strange poetic way. They were in a sense beautiful and graceful; the contrast between light and dark could be taken into deep analysis. There was another louder rumble of thunder shortly followed by another flash of lightning. Ever since his first thunderstorm as a child; Castiel had become fascinated with the elegance and strength behind lightning and the deep, guttural sounds of thunder. He could wax poetically for hours about the brightness of lightning against the normally dark sky. But, at this very moment, he was too exhausted to be bothered about the deeper allure of lightning bolts.

He shifted under the weight of an arm draped over his back as he twisted to gaze at the face of the sleeping form next to him. A lightly tanned masculine set of features that had seemed to be dusted with freckles upon more freckles. Castiel unconsciously moved closer into the man’s body in an attempt to count the countless number of freckles in the dim light. Wait, what was this guys name again? Sean? No. Dean. Yes! Dean Winchester. 

Oh fuck. No. 

The memories of what they did together flickered in Castiel’s mind and before his mind could catch up with his body; he was standing at the door of the hotel room with his phone in his hand. Shit. Calm it Novak. He took a deep breath as he made his way quietly over to the bathroom that was attached to the room. It was nothing fancy; a simply white tiled bathroom that included a shower, bath and a double sink. He gently clicked the door shut behind him as he sat on the edge of the bath with his phone in his hand, thumbs dancing over the screen. He needed to call somebody. Castiel brought up his lists of contacts and bypassed the first few names that appeared in the alphabetized list. There was no way in hell he was going to call Anna or Balthazar. He paused for a moment over Crowley’s name but pressed Gabriel’s contact information instead and pressed the ringing device to his ear. It rang four times before his brother picked up. 

“Castiel?” 

“Hello Gabriel”

“Where the hell are you?” Gabriel spoke in a hushed tone of voice so Castiel assumed the other members of the band were still asleep.

"I am not too sure but I am okay. Well, we are okay" 

"Wait, what do you mean we?" 

He could hear some rustling and the distinctive sound of candy wrappers being dropped onto the floor followed by a short curse word. 

"You didn't! You did not sneak off this bus to fuck some reported in a cheap motel" 

"First of all, it's not a cheap motel. It's actually quite nice and no, I did not sneak off to fuck Dean. I asked him to follow me but my intentions were innocent... at that time" 

"Oh little brother. What did you do?" 

Something inside of Castiel broke as he recounted everything to Gabriel including the dirtiest blow job Castiel has ever given to a guy and the echoes of Michael's voice in his head. He hung his head once he was finished, awaiting a reply from his brother. 

"Well shit Castiel. You are majorly fucked there. You know Balthazar is seriously going to bust a nut when he notices you're missing. right?" 

"Yes Gabriel but I am just so tired of touring. Yes, I know what I was signing on for when we started the band but seriously. It was either sneak off the bus or collapse on stage due to exhaustion" 

"Balthazar would rather you do that then sneak off. What the hell are going to do when he does notice and starts ringing everyone in the lower states to find you?" 

Castiel pressed the heel of his right hand into his left eye willing the impending stress headache away before it got too painful. 

"I don't know. I am just going to stay off the radar for a few days. Get some real rest." 

He could hear Gabriel's frustration in his voice as he sighed heavily before speaking again. 

"Okay, I will keep calling with updates about his majesty and things this end. Just keep out of sight. Oh and Castiel?" 

"Yes Gabriel" 

"Bang that reporter once or twice before you get back. I think you both will need it" 

Cas grinned wide as he could hear the humour return to his brothers voice. 

"I will Gabriel. I will see you soon" 

After their farewells to each, Castiel laid his phone on the closed toilet seat next to him. He could still hear the thunder rumbling off in the distance with the occasional flash of lightning illuminating the doorway back into the main hotel room. What was he going to do? He could not hide here from Balthazar forever and if he was being honest with himself, Castiel loved being on tour. It was just exhausting after two long years of almost continuous touring around the world. He could use a break from it. Hell, they all could. Even Meg.

Castiel could feel the need for more sleep slowly creep back into his body causing his limbs to feel heavier than they usually do. He dragged himself back to bed and as careful as he could be this early in the morning, climbed in alongside Dean again. The reporter had turned over whilst Castiel was on the phone and was now facing the opposite wall with his back presented to Cas. Along his broad shoulders, Castiel could make out more freckles and a little lower stood a prominent tattoo. He could feel a small rush of excitement shoot down his spine as he gingerly traced the outline of a gun which seemed to be a Winchester on Dean's left shoulder blade. Maybe this reporter wasn't as normal and boring as Castiel first thought he would be. He grinned wide as closed his eyes and drifted off to images of lightning dancing across freckled skin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry this chapter took forever to post but Christmas and my birthday happened   
> Also I have not been in the right mind to write anything 
> 
> Hope you enjoy it  
> Please leave any comments X
> 
> Ps  
> Some more smut is coming up so Dean and Cas's tattoos are going to be described a bit more than


	19. The Temptress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Point of View - Meg Masters

~ 12 Years Earlier ~ 

The unnecessary noise from the other preteens were grating to Meg’s ears as she leaned against a pillar to the main building of the English department. She found herself, most lunchtimes simply leaning against a pillar or a wall and observing the ludicrous behaviour happening before her. A gaggle of girls from her drama class passed her, keeping their voices low and throwing judgemental glances over their shoulders at Meg. ‘Idiots’ she thought to herself as she thumbed through her bag to her own copy of “The Greatest Gift.”

Meg had read it cover to cover nearly every month since her mom brought it home by mistake one day but never returned it after Meg become engrossed in the short but enticing story. Years later, her mother finally showed her the film with James Stewart but Meg still loved the poignancy of the book.   
Meg’s attention kept being diverted from the text in front of her by the sound of faint sniffling coming from somewhere. After a few minutes of trying and failing to read her book; Meg shoved the book back into her bag with a frustrated grumble and rounded the corner of the building. 

Sat on the edge of the raised curb was some black-haired kid in an oversized trench coat that the sniffling was definitely coming from. Meg rolled her eyes as she flopped down beside the stick of a person enveloped in the large coat. 

"Crying only wettens faces and reddens eyes.No problems were ever solved with tears so you shouldn't start thinking that now, Clarence. Hmm, interesting." 

Meg leaned back slightly to study the boys face more closely. There was dark bruising around his left eye that seemed to already be healing, no more than a week old probably. His eyes though, his eyes. Fuck. They were brighter than most people's eyes unless they were wearing coloured contact lenses but there was no way in hell that this kid was wearing any. 

"Crying normally makes most people look like hideous toads but your eyes pop more when they are shimmering like that, Clarence. " 

The boy next to her looked bewildered and ultimately confused as he sniffed away the final tears. 

"My name is C-Castiel. N-Not Clarence..." 

"I don't care what your name is, just stop with the waterworks and take a look around you." 

Castiel must have thought that Meg meant in the literal sense of the saying as he furrowed his brow and took a long, searching look around the both of them before staring straight back at Meg. 

"I don't see anything spectacular that should stop me from emitting emotions of sadness" 

Meg rubbed her temple and rolled her eyes. 

"You are obviously not looking for the deeper meaning. What I meant to say Clarence is that you need to stop dwelling on whatever little trivial issue has you crying like a hormonal schoolgirl over her latest crush and take a look at the bigger picture. None of that crap is going to matter when we are older so it is best not to give a crap about what people say or think about you. Just tell them to kiss your ass and be happy" 

She took a minute to catch her breath as Meg leaned back onto her elbows; it was rare that she was considerate to anyone other than herself but Castiel – or whatever the hell his name was – seemed to be a fellow outsider in this hellhole and freaks should stick together as much as they can. It’s not the first time this year that Meg tried to make a “friend” and it was going much better than last time – it took her three days to rinse all of the milkshake out of her jacket. 

“Is that what you do?... To stay happy in this… environment” 

“If you don’t give a shit. No one can get under your skin like these egotistical creeps seem to get off on so easily” 

There was a lull in the conversation as Castiel fiddled with a button on the sleeve of his overcoat and Meg stared up at the sky, it was starting to get more overcast. Rain was on its way for certain – rain that will wash away what’s passed. She shook her head slightly, Meg really needed to stop listening to musical soundtracks before bed. 

“Will it make me happy? Not caring about people’s opinion?” 

Meg sighed as she raised an eyebrow in disbelief he was actually asking her that; after her long monologue. 

“Of course it will and I can help you. Not caring is my speciality if you couldn't tell already, Clarence" 

Castiel cocked his head to the side as if he was impersonating an inquisitive puppy. 

"You seem to care a lot, just not necessarily about the same things other people care about..." 

“Anyway, before you start reaching for your guitar and singing fucking Kumbaya and plaiting each other’s hair or some pathetic crap like that. I need to get to my next class. I shall be seeing you around soon Clarence and remember. Take no shit and you’ll be happy” 

As Meg stood and took a step towards to dismal looking art block, something seemed to be caught on her bag, stopping her from moving another step forward. She turned to find Castiel holding the lower strap of her schoolbag tightly. 

“Thank you but I still do not know your name and it is considered rude not to introduce yourself properly” 

Meg's eyebrow raised high and she quietly chuckled to herself. She had to bite her tongue to stop herself from telling Castiel to fuck off or kiss her ass but those too innocent eyes were melting her chilly little heart. She sighed a took a step closer, gently holding onto Castiel's chin to lift his face closer to her own as she grinned wide. Some people may compare her smile to a sly cat or a psychopath - either one was correct

"Fine, my name is Meg Masters and I will kick your ass if I find out someone else has kicked yours before I met you again. Got it, Clarence?" 

The threat was thin but the look on Meg's face made her voice more intimidating than she actually meant it to be. Her eyes had grown dark and yet they still gleamed with a sense of mischief. Castiel quickly nodded and swallowed hard as Meg imitated his earlier head tilt. She winked down at him and sauntered off towards the art building.

Meg’s hands tightened instinctively around the main strap of her bag and smiled to herself, she felt… happy? Confident? She couldn’t exactly pinpoint the emotion that caused her fingertips tingle and a strange fluttering sensation deep in her gut. As she passed the same gaggle as girls that laughed at her before; Meg bared her teeth and hissed to her amusement as they all squealed in fear and probably horror that someone would act in such a manner towards other human beings. 

Meg spent the next hour in the back of her art class, smiling to herself and only half-listening to her teacher, Mr Todd. She seemed lighter knowing that someone else in the universe understood what it was like to be an outsider. She hardly noticed when someone threw a blob of clay into her hair and she did not even flinch when a rather stupid boy shouted “demonic lesbian” in her face.

Meg was happy that she had someone that should could consider a friend, a comrade in arms and definitely a fellow freak that could love her and that she could love as well. That was Castiel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is not the smut I promised but the idea popped into my mind during a walk in the rain   
> Smut will come soon ((There is a joke there somewhere)) 
> 
> This is how I think Cas and Meg met long ago and I hated this chapter first but now, I'm starting to love it
> 
>  
> 
> And now, I'm hating it again. Its a strange chapter   
> As ever   
> Thank you so much for reading x


	20. Early Mornings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here comes the smut   
> Brace yourselves   
> If you don't like smut - you can skip this chapter   
> There is no real plot in this one

Everything was warm and soft. Dean felt as if he was floating in mid-air whilst surrounded by cotton wool. Each one of his limbs were so heavy that they felt they were being pulled through the bed by invisible wires.

But something was off, something innocent was offsetting this peaceful moment. He cracked an eye open and grimaced as he spotted a clock on the table beside his side of the bed. 6:05Am. Dean groaned loud as he rolled onto his stomach and buried his face as deep as he could into his pillow with his arms curling around it as well. He could distantly hear low rumbles of thunder and the light taps of raindrops against the large window panes. He smiled tiredly into his pillow as he settled back underneath the thick duvet and everything was back to being warm and soft. 

However, Dean's eyebrows knitted together when he shifted his hips to get into a more comfortable position and realized that the early morning wake was causing some majorly impressive morning wood. He moaned quietly into the pillow as he gently grinded his hips into the mattress, he kept circling and rocking himself into the bed as he used the pillow to muffle his groans of pleasure. Just then his brain decided to kick itself into gear and reminded him that he was definitely not alone in the bed. Dean stilled instantly and held his breath as he heard a rough, deep voice murmur from somewhere beyond his pillow. 

"You don't have to stop. You seemed to be rather enjoying yourself" 

Dean bit his bottom lip as he lifted his face from his pillow and found a rather grumpy but fucking gorgeous looking Castiel looking straight back at him. He could already feel his face starting to heat up with embarrassment but that did nothing to calm down his hardening cock. Castiel's hair was sticking up in various patches on his head and his eyes were as blue as Dean had seen them in the short time that they had known each other. 

"I-I was just trying to get comfortable" 

Castiel simply hummed and Dean could feel his cheeks, somehow, getting hotter as the singer shuffled further into his personal space. He wasn't sure what Cas was planning on doing until a warm hand wrapped loosely around his cock and began to stroke slowly. Dean let his eyes shut as a quiet moan slipped from his slightly opened mouth. 

"Is this better?" 

Dean could only nod his head as his right hand curled tight into his pillow and his left trail down Castiel's back and across his shoulders just touch him. He could not get enough of how soft Cas's hand felt and in little to no time, Dean was pressing his hips forward into the loose tunnel that Castiel had around his dick. Castiel was peppering Dean’s chest with small, fleeting kisses and purposely dragged his teeth across one of his nipples as he tightened his hand around the base of his cock to stop him from finishing before they had any real fun. 

“I want you to fuck me Dean” 

Wait, what? Did Dean just hear that? Was he having some kind of stroke? His heart came to an abrupt stop before pounding loudly in his ears again as he pulled himself back from Castiel slightly to look the singer squarely in the eye. 

"Unless, you do not want to but..." 

Castiel smiled and started to stroke Dean's cock again, keeping his voice low as he spoke. 

"It does seem you like the idea of fucking me" 

As if on cue, Dean's cock twitched hard in Cas's hand as precome began to drip from the head. Dean bit down on his bottom lip hard as he dragged Castiel forward, with a hand on the back of his neck, into a bruising kiss that left Dean’s toes curling at the bottom of the bed. There was nothing in this world that could compare to the feel and the taste of Castiel’s mouth. 

He ran the tip of his tongue along the back of the singer’s teeth which made the most erotic groan erupt from deep within Cas’s chest. Fuck. Dean wanted to make Castiel make that sound again and again, there was no way he was going to get tired of it. He pulled back from exploring the singer’s mouth to catch his breath and to come back to reality. If Cas wanted Dean to fuck him, then he was going to be sure that he got fucked properly. 

“On your front” 

Dean’s voice was forced more than it should have been and slightly trembling but who could blame him when he had Castiel Novak’s hand wrapped tightly around his cock. However, the singer rolled onto his stomach and turned his face to the side to raise an eyebrow at Dean, hiding his beautiful hands underneath his pillow. 

Dean took a moment to steady himself as he straddled the backs of Cas’s thighs and ghosted his fingertips down the middle of the singer’s back, stopping only to gently massage Castiel’s lower back with his thumbs. When a slightly frustrated sound came from further up the bed informed Dean that he should get to it. He shuffled completely off the bed as he pulled Cas’s boxers off this long legs and kissed his way back up until his lips found the small crease that separated Castiel’s thighs from his ass and lord. What an ass! He must be a runner, Dean thought to himself as he sharply bit on the fleshiest part of the muscle, using his tongue to soothe the red mark.

Dean always enjoyed this part more than most people do but it was the best way to understand how a person was going to react during the actual sex part of the encounter. Some people were shyer than others and some were more vocal. Castiel was definitely more vocal that some of the guys that Dean has been with in the past but his face was buried deep in a pillow that was doing a good job at muffling those perfect sounds. He was plotting the destruction of that damn pillow as he pulled Cas's hips up so his ass was beautifully presented to Dean. 

“Tell me if you want me to stop” 

Dean smiled to himself as he spread the singer’s cheeks just a little more before leaning forward and dragging the flat of his tongue across the puckered ring of his muscle. He could hear a loud gasp followed by a louder guttural groan above him. Dean took that as a very positive sign so he plunged straight in – wrong phrasing perhaps – using his tongue to circle, tease and slowly fuck Castiel until his jaw was locking up and the singer was begging him to fuck him already. 

"D-Dean... Fuck... Please. Fuck me! God, need it so b-bad..." 

Dean grinded himself on the back of Cas's leg momentarily as he reached over to the bedside table to retrieve a condom and a rather small bottle of lube. He nestled both of the items by Castiel's right knee as he passed his tongue over the fluttering muscle once again, admiring the sight of the entrance trying to clench around Dean's tongue. He covered two of his fingers and easily slid both of them into Cas, which was followed by a higher pitched moan from the singer. Just as he did with the ass eating, Dean started off slow to ensure that he would not hurt Castiel in the process. 

It didn’t take long until Dean could stretch Cas easily with three fingers and the singer was pleading with him again. He positioned himself behind Castiel and wiped the excess of the lube onto himself. Dean carefully lined the head of his cock with Cas’s entrance; his hands holding onto his hips tightly as Dean slowly inched his way inside of Castiel. Finally, after restraining himself, Dean had bottomed out and let his head fall back with a groan falling from his lips. Castiel’s tight heat was sending his head into a tailspin and he felt like he was going to drown in the heat. Dean looked up at the back of Cas’s head which had been dropped back onto the pillow. 

“Ready?” 

“So… F-fucking ready…” 

He gently began to pull his hips back until the very tip of his cock was still inside of Castiel then pressing himself back into Cas. Dean bit on his bottom lip as he began to pick up the pace more, his hands holding like vice grips on the singer’s hips. There was surely going to be some bruises on his hips later on but by the noises Cas was making each time that Dean brushed his prostate, he did not care in the slightest. Dean was not being the quietest of people either. Loud groans and some surprising noises were falling from his mouth every time Castiel clenched tightly around his cock. 

Dean was immediately snapped out of his headspace as he heard a familiar loud shrill that was his mobile phone. This could not be the worse time to try and call him. He groaned in frustration. He glared at the offending item that was vibrating on the bedside table. 

“Fucking phone. Slightly busy here…” 

"For fuck sake" 

In one swift movement, Dean’s phone was flying across the room and smashing against the hotel room door. If he was in any right frame of mind, he would be cursing Castiel from now until next Tuesday. But the little shit – well, not so little – decides to clench tightly around him again and that nearly breaks him. Dean concludes that they are both done with this “slow and steady wins the race” bullshit so he uses one of his hands to press the top portion of Cas’s body into the bed as he begins to pound into the singer as hard and as fast as he can go. 

The angle was more than superb as with every rough thrust, Dean grazed Castiel’s prostate and it wasn’t long until they were both sweaty, panting and so close to the edge. He could feel sparks of pleasure at the very base of his spine and the tight coil in his gut getting tighter and tighter. 

"C-Cas... fuck. So fucking good... So close... W-Wanna hear you scream when you come..." 

That was the straw that broke the camel's back and moments later, Castiel was crying Dean's name at the top of his lungs as he came hard, making a mess of the bed underneath him. As well as his back arching severely, Cas clenched tightly around Dean and that is all it took for him too. A single thrust later, he was calling out the singer's name as he came deep inside of Cas. 

“F-Fuck… Cas…” 

Dean’s arms had failed him but he managed to pull out of Castiel before collapsing on the bed next to him. The singer was face-down in the pillow, obviously trying to catch his breath again. Cas soon turned his face to smile tiredly at Dean. 

“Well, fuck me…” 

“I just did” 

Dean chuckled to himself at his little joke, running a hand through his hair that plastered itself to his forehead in sweat. He grinned over at Castiel, who wasn't as amused at the joke as Dean had been. His eyes flickered down to the mess they made on the bed and made a mental note to take a shower later on. 

"Was I good or was I good?" 

"That was so much better than just good..." 

Dean hummed in response as he felt himself beginning to fall asleep again. They should really get up and take a shower but exhaustion overtook the rational and logical part of his brain. He held out an arm and Castiel seemed to understand what Dean meant as he cuddled in closer with his equally sweaty head on his shoulder, an arm draped over Dean’s chest. As he shut his eyes and began to fall asleep, Dean could swear he heard someone singing but maybe it was his imagination.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ITS BEEN A YEAR!   
> This all started because I couldn't sleep one night and it has been a whole year since then  
> Whilst it is still a work in progress, I've gotten further than I ever thought I was going to with this   
> There have been some ups (not that many)   
> There have been some downs (too many)   
> But I am still here writing (unfortunately) 
> 
> Also, we passed 25,000 words! Wooo for waffling! 
> 
>  
> 
> As always   
> Thanks for reading and leave any comments X


	21. Wake Me Up Before You Go

Castiel eyed his phone on the bedside table. It had pinged to life when he received text messages and a couple of e-mails but there was no point in checking them now. Cas was the worst morning person and that was an understatement to say the least. He had only just woken up again after the early morning rise with Dean. He hummed quietly to himself as he felt a slight twinge of pain from his hips. It had been a while since Castiel really enjoyed himself with another person like that. Although many people crossed his path that were more than compatible; they were never able to catch his attention like Dean has done.

8:39am.

Every time Cas hit the central button on his smartphone, the large numbers glared at him. It was like the luminous digits were taunting him and his complete lack of sleep. Urgh. Cas could scroll through the several messages that Gabriel had sent him since they spoke on the phone but undoubtedly they would only be photographs of his dick or some ridiculous dessert. 

He huffed as he tried to extract himself from the heavy arm that Dean had draped over his waist to shuffle his way into the attached bathroom with his phone in one hand and a pair of underwear in the other. The cold tiled floor was a contrast to the plush carpeting of the main room. It wasn't until Castiel stepped under a steady stream of hot water that is body started to relax. The warmth from the water slowly seeped through his muscles; his shoulders loosening in an instant. Seconds and minutes ticked by as Castiel stood with his forehead pressed against the cool tiles and his eyes closed. All he wanted to do was sleep. To sleep, perchance to dream. He could curl up into a corner of the shower and sleep under the water with the steady thrum on his back.

Cold hands gently appeared on his hips; it startled Castiel out of his shower thoughts. Dean was pressing his entire body against Cas's back and sharing the heat from the shower. It was obvious that Dean had a certain thought on his mind.

"I woke up and heard the shower. I thought you could use some company."

Castiel smiled tiredly as he pressed himself back onto Dean's hardening cock, grinding slowly as his fingers try to gain the little purchase from the tiled wall. His limbs were feeling heavy from the delicious steam curling around their entwining bodies and the exhaustion from a long night. Cas was barely aware of Dean grinding himself against his backside. The soft moans from the other man were swirled around Cas’s ears and brought a bigger smile to his face.

He liked when people could take their time and simply revel in each other’s bodies. When the light, soft touches could bring such pleasure to both of them. Castiel craved in the slow build-up of moments like this. But, at this moment in time, he also craved sleep. A hand – much warmer than before – snaked around to the front of his body and began to slowly stroke his hard dick. He pressed himself into the loose tunnel of fingers that surrounded him.

"D-Dean... Can we take this to the bed?"

Castiel’s voice echoed onto the tiled wall; the only other sounds were the small noises escaping from Dean and his own mouth. Soon, the noise from the shower ceased as Dean turned the water off and reached for some towels that were just outside of the cubical.

Cas's head was still swimming as Dean wrapped the towel around his waist and guided him through to perch on the edge of the bed. His skin was cooling as he laid back against the duvets. He shivered as he felt the other man guide his legs open and wet kisses being pressed to the inside of his thighs. Castiel raked his fingers through the longer hair on the top of Dean's head; it was still damp from the shower. However, any other thoughts that were lingering in his head were certainly gone when Dean wrapped his fingers around the base of Castiel’s cock and his tongue toyed the vein on the underside. The moment Dean's mouth engulfed the head of Cas's dick, his hips bucked unexpectedly into the wet heat of the man's mouth. It didn't take long until Castiel was groaning as dirty as porn star and his hips were lifting off of the mattress.

The heat in his lower stomach was growing hotter and hotter until his vision began to turn white as with a final cry; Castiel came hard down Dean's throat with his fingers twisted in his hair. His hips twitched until his own dick was soft again and exhaustion was overtaking him. Cas tried to reach out from Dean but his arm was too heavy to lift from where it fell by his side. He attempted to ask the other man about his own release but when he cracked his eyelids apart, he couldn't see Dean in front of him anymore.

Castiel wasn't sure how he managed to crawl underneath the covers; he was sure Dean had tucked him into them. Although, said man had taken his place against Castiel's back with his arm draped back over his waist. The world was comfortably warm again and Cas could feel the tiredness dragging at his mind, his eyelids becoming incredibly heavy. He felt safe as he shuffled slightly to get further under the covers. He wasn't sure but Castiel would swear he felt Dean smiling on the back of his neck as he let the exhaustion overtake him and forced him to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so so so sorry that it took so fucking long to update  
> Life has been a bitch and a half. 
> 
> Anyway, thanks for reading  
> Please leave your comments!  
> Until next time, my Darlings x


	22. Welcome to my Nightmare

The first thing to worm its way into Dean's mind was the smell of heavy smoke and it painfully clawed at the insides of his nose, stinging his nostrils sharply with every intake of breath. It was similar to the deep scent of a bonfire during mid-November that filled the darkened skies but it was so much denser. Then, the faded image of bright orange flickers started burning behind Dean's eyes and the aggressive flashes of heat were far too familiar. The warmth from the flames was settling deep into his bones as he looked down to his occupied arms, a small pink face glaring angrily and confused back up at him, tears welling in the baby's wide eyes. Everything seemed to be drenched in a strange sepia tone as if seen through an old photograph or a clever filter on a camera lens but it felt so real. In the back of his mind, Dean knew that this was just an echo of a memory. A dreadful and haunting memory but still just that - He was not back in the fire that consumed his childhood home. But, he couldn't help that his heart began pounding harshly against his ribcage and adrenaline started to surge through his veins, making his head spin and almost float. 

"Dean! Get your brother out of here! Now!" 

A deep rumbling voice broke through the tight atmosphere from somewhere, demanding and almost frantic as it screamed words over and over again. He instantly recognised that it belonged to his father, John but he couldn't see him anywhere. There were more images that flooded into view, a long corridor of a house with thick smoking blanketing the floor and clung around Dean's legs. 

"Boy! Take Sammy outside and run! Run as fast as you can!" 

Dean tried to twist his body around to seek out the source of that voice but his body was moving on instinct and carrying him with the baby out of the burning house quicker than he thought was possible. He squeezed his arms around his brother's tiny form as Dean held Sam against his small chest and sprinted from the house. A cough tickled at the base of his throat and his eyes were watering from the smoke but Dean didn't stop until he was well outside of the house and a high-pitched scream rang in his ears. 

"Mama?..." 

Dean stopped in his short strides and turned back towards the house, a bubble of worry expanding in his chest at the thought of his mom being hurt or worse. There were shockingly vivid flames were trapped by the upper-level windows and darker smoke filled the sky above the house. He couldn't move his feet anymore and his mouth filled with invisible marbles to keep Dean from yelling out again. The images slowly began to dissolve and Dean could barely register someone in a uniform pulling his little brother from his arms, red and blue streaked across his vision and another scream cried out. It wasn't as high-pitched as before but more guttural and it was more likely made from a man. 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

Dean's body finally jolted him awake and his natural reaction was to scramble from the bed and cross the room before his brain processed where he actually was and the fact that he was safe. It had been over 20 years since the fire but the crippling panic still sat in the middle of his chest, suffocating and choking with every passing second. He can still feel the curtains of smoke clutching around his ankles and dragging him back into the house. Dean leant back against a dresser opposite the bed for a second as his left hand carded through his sweat-drenched hair. 

"Just a dream... a dang nightmare..." 

He quietly repeated the words to himself, eyes falling shut as he tried to ignore the lingering fear on the fringe of his mind and the exhaustion of having such a dream brought with it. Dean's jaw clenched and heart plummeted into his feet as he felt a strong but gentle hand skim across his shoulder-blades in a soothing touch. He could barely lift his head but he mustered enough energy to throw a tired smile to Castiel by his side and his eyes stayed closed. 

"Dean... You alright there?..." 

There was obvious concern in Cas' voice and something deep in his chest ached as Dean hauled his eyes open again to look wearily up at Cas. His dark hair was spiked messily in different directions, a sure sign that he had just rolled out of bed and his blue eyes were softer somehow, less judgmental and more caring. Maybe or maybe not. Dean tiredly wrapped his arms around Castiel's waist and pressed his face into the crook of the singer's neck. Normally, Dean would deal with his nightmares on his own and he would simply brush it off if anyone asked him about them but it had been several months since his last nightmare about that night. He could still faintly hear his mother scream and his arms tightened around Cas' waist as he tried to block the memory from resurfacing into his head completely. The last time that Dean had a nightmare too similar to this one; he had to drink half a bottle of whiskey and run 3 miles before he returned to his apartment to collapse into a restless sleep on his sofa. 

"Dean... Come on, let's get back into bed and take a second to breathe..." 

It was too late for Dean to object as Castiel was already curling his fingers around his wrist and gently guiding him back to the bed. He complied silently as Cas settled Dean comfortably against the pillows and tucked himself tightly to the side of Dean's chest. The air in the room began to ease as Dean kept his eyes trained on the painted wall behind the dresser and the door to the en-suite bathroom which was slightly ajar from the earlier shower with Cas. 

"I-I... I don't usually... h-have nightmares... like that..." 

It was a lie and an blatant one too, Dean's voice was so quiet that he was unsure that Castiel had heard him until an arm draped across his stomach and the singer tried to cuddle closer to Dean, even though there was no space between them. A small hum was mumbled into the skin of his bare chest and his own shaky hand lightly skimmed over Cas's shoulders to hold him still against his chest. The moment happening between the two men might be viewed as too intimate for a couple who have only just met each other but it seemed right like it was second nature to them. 

Dean let his eyes flutter close again as he mimicked the steady breathing of the body pressed against his side and he could feel himself starting to slip back into sleep with every deep inhale and exhale. He tried to fight against falling back asleep but his own body betrayed him and Dean quietly let slumber take him again as Castiel quietly stared intently at the same painted wall across from the bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh sweet Mary, mother of Jesus - It has been a while  
> I am so dang sorry humans - I may have forgotten about this for a while  
> No promises but I am hoping to upload the rest of this soon 
> 
> Thanks for reading   
> Leave a comment if you have one x


	23. Getting to know you - Part One

The room was too bright as Castiel cracked an eye open, glaring tiredly at the open curtains and he grumbled a curse under his breath. Cas can't remember, even as a child, leaping from his bed in the morning and welcoming the world with open arms. His mornings had always consisted of mumbled swears, narrowed eyes and grabby hands towards any source of coffee or food. It had gotten even worse whilst touring with his brother who delighted in playing a cruel game called "How to wake up Castiel" which sometimes ended in violence. Although, that was normally nothing more than an alarm clock launched at their heads or whatever happened to be within his reach. 

An annoying loud knock came from the main door of the room and Cas pulled the covers over his head, hoping that the person would simply go away. Sadly, it didn't work and another knock rang through the quiet room. 

"I swear to Mother Mary on high..." 

The bed dipped to the left of him as Dean sauntered his way over to the door, Cas peaked over the edge of the covers and marveled in the sight of Dean's boxers that clung snugly to his ass. Wait. When did he put underwear on? Castiel scrubbed a hand over his eyes, flicking his mind back through the most recent memories and he was pretty sure that Dean was completely naked. A small bubble of panic started to rise in his chest and his hands tightened around the edges of the covers. Had Dean been trying to leave and sneak out before he woke up? In the back of his mind, Castiel knew that that was bullshit but he couldn't stop the thought from growing as he lost himself in the further reaches of his mind. 

"Hungry?..." 

Cas was pulled from his internal maze by the sleep-gruff voice from the foot of the bed and he scooted up to lean back against the headboard, smiling tiredly at the silver tray that Dean was hovering over. A small warmth spreads across Castiel's cheeks as he let his eyes slowly roam down Dean's body, taking in every faint line of hard muscle and a sprinkling of golden freckles that underline tanned skin. Cas was pale as hell, thanks to the lack of sunlight from endless touring and he would give anything to spend more time just relaxing in the sun. At this point, he was shameless staring at the beauty of Dean's body but Castiel no longer cared and a small smile played at the corners of his mouth. Somewhere in his head, the thought that Dean was going to leave was still lingering but Cas didn't want to mull over it anymore. 

"Cas?..." 

Shit. A pair of bright green eyes looked at him curiously and maybe, a little confused. He smiled tiredly at Dean as he nodded his head and chuckled quietly as his stomach took the opportunity to vocalize its distress about the lack of food, cutting through the awkward silence. Dean smiled down at the covered food but it seemed... strained? Cas hummed happily as he was handed a plate of food. It was pile high with toast, berries, oranges and some small pastry that was too buttery but it was fucking delicious. They ate in a strangely comfortable silence with their shoulders brushing against each other until Castiel leaned forward to place the plate back on the tray. He leaned back against the headboard with a satisfied hum, his eyelids felt too heavy and Cas stretched his arms above his head, groaning low. It had been far too long since he felt this happy about just lying in bed and eating mediocre room service. 

"So...." 

Right. Yes, we needed to have a talk about... things... Cas shifted uncomfortable against the headboard, covers pooling around his waist and he saw that Dean was staring down at his hands that were folded in his lap. Castiel knew that Dean deserved an explanation about the whole 'walking out' incident that happened the night before but he found it hard to talk to anyone, full stop. He thought that it would be nearly impossible to openly talk to someone that he had known for less than a week. Well, Cas thought that until he opened his mouth and words started tumbling out with his permission. 

"When I was younger, a lot of people tried to take control of my life. My parents, Michael, Meg and even Balthazar. All of them tried to tighten their grips around my world and shape me into their perfect image of me. Michael shaped me into a world-travelling singer who beds every woman that he meets and someone who would never even think about giving a guy another look. A modern day Mick Jagger, I think is how Michael described it once to me. I hated it and I loathed the looks or comments that he would say if he ever caught me with another guy." 

Castiel chuckled under his breath but it sounded more sour than anything else as he paused for a moment. Dean was no longer gazing down at his lap, instead, he was staring right at Cas and that made the singer's stomach tie into small knots. Why the fuck did he just say all of that to a fricking reporter? A wave of realization hit Cas like a bucket of ice water as he remembers the whole reason why Dean is even touring with them. He was just another reporter, trying to get the story of the century and nothing more than that. It hurt to burst the bubble that shielded them from reality for a short while but this wasn't some epic love story or a long-winded romance escapade. This was the real world and reporters lived for getting the next big scoop before anybody else. However, this hard brush with crippling reality didn't stop Cas from continuing to let his mouth run too fast for his brain to process the words that were being said. 

"I had spent so much of my life, under the thumb of someone and changing my true self to fit their expectations of me. Anyway, one of Michael's "views" was that anyone who would even think about having sex with someone of the same gender, deserved to be beaten up and trust me. That is not an empty threat." 

He let the room go silent again for a few second as he jaw began to ache, maybe a phantom pain from one of Michael's "behavioral adjustments" that didn't end too well. Castiel didn't dare to even try to sneak a guy past Michael after that incident for a couple of weeks with only his right hand for company. It had been a hard couple of weeks - pun intended - but it didn't last too long and soon, Castiel was back to seducing to tough guys with big hands. 

"Last night was the first real night that I have said 'fuck you' to everything that my brother drilled into me about how I was the one who was wrong and how I was the one who needed to change. I mean, I had been sleeping with men without Michael knowing ever since he left and Balthazar took over the management but... It didn't seem too rebellious or anything. Then, last night happened and we fucking ditched the tour bus in the middle of nowhere and dove into the first hotel that we could find. That's fricking nuts!" 

Castiel turned his head to stare at Dean with wide eyes and the reporter simply stared back with a slight tilt to his head as he listened carefully to every single syllable that passed from Cas' mouth, His expression was unreadable to Cas, a mixture between acceptance and understanding. It was so strange to have the opportunity to talk to someone so candidly about life. 

"I-I can't really explain it anymore than I-I got too overwhelmed by everything... The ditching. The kissing. The grinding. The blowjob. Everything that Michael had said and taught me had suddenly crashed down onto me and I needed to get out of there before I puked on your shoes or something..." 

There was a small smile playing at the edges of Dean's mouth but it quickly faded from sight again as both of them leaned back against the headboard of the bed. A small consistent ticking sound came from the alarm clock on the bedside table and it lulled Castiel into a strange meditation as he patiently waited for Dean's answer to his whole case of verbal diarrhea. He was not expecting the story that slowly poured from Dean's mouth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Manic laughter*   
> Its 2:51 am and I am done   
> I, desperately, need sleep but I wanted to upload this first 
> 
> I shall catch you on the flip side
> 
> Please leave a comment if you have one x


	24. Getting to know you - Part Two

Before this assignment, if you had told Dean that he would sneak off a tour bus in the middle of nowhere, fuck Castiel Novak into next week and listen to how much his brother Michael had control over his life, he would laugh in your face. But, here he was in bed with Cas by his side whilst the singer lets small pieces of his private life break through the barriers that he had put up to everyone else. Dean would be lying if he said that he wasn't confused by Cas' willingness to talk to him and he would, also, be lying if he said that he didn't want to fill Castiel in on his own personal life. This was meant to be easy. A simple task to follow a band around for a couple of months then leave with nothing more than a story and maybe a drunken mistake like a tattoo on his ass. But, no. Life is never that easy. 

Dean took a deep breath through his nose to try to calm the sudden nerves that rose in his chest and to ease the knots that tightened in his stomach. He never needed to explain his nightmares to anyone apart from the occasional guy who decided to spend more than one night with Dean or Bobby after finding him frantically typing away in the office at 5:45 am after a particularly bad one. But, even then, he would be vague and avoid the most obvious details about the disturbing dreams. He stared down at his hands that twisted the edge of the covers nervously between his fingers. A warmth spread across the back of his neck as he could feel Castiel still staring at him, those stupidly blue eyes were too wide when Dean risked a glance and he can't bring himself to look back at the singer again. 

“I-I understand what it's like having somebody else taking control of everything that you do or they tell you which people you are allowed to hang out with and the ones that you're not allowed. My Dad..." 

Dean cleared his throat and quickly decided to change the subject back to his nightmare before he fell down a rabbit hole that took way too long and too much effort to explain. He hadn't spared his father a second thought in several years and God knows that he isn't going to start thinking about the old man now. Dean swallowed harshly as he brought his thoughts back on to the matter at hand. 

"When I was about 4 or 5, there was a big house fire. I only woke up because of the smoke and by the time that I got out of bed and found my Dad, the house was pretty much falling apart around us. He handed me Sammy and told me to run so I did. I just kept running until... We later found out it that it all started from some faulty wiring in my brother's nursery and my Dad won some settlement but it was never enough to replace my Mom. I lost her to that fire, Cas and I will never forget that night." 

He coughed quietly into one of his hands to hide the slight tremble in his voice as Dean clearly heard the high-pitched wail of his Mom in the back of his mind and it brought a hard lump to his throat. Dean clenched his jaw tightly, letting a silent moment pass before he felt confident enough to speak again without his voice shaking. 

“ I was telling the truth when I said that I don't usually have nightmares like that. Its been months since I had one about the fire and honestly, I should have seen it coming but... Yeah... That's what my nightmare was... Just an old memory that likes to pop up and bite me in the ass." 

Dean could see that Castiel was still staring at him with a strange intensity that made the faint blush in his cheeks rise up more and all he could do was stare down at his hands, clasped tightly in his lap. 

"Your father... Did he..." 

There was a questioning tone to Cas' voice, curling through the softly spoken words and Dean nodded his head slightly. 

"Dad survived the fire, by some fucking miracle but he... he was never the same after that night. Neither one of us were exactly the same after losing mom but... Fuck. He was pretty much silent for most of the time but when he did speak..." 

The heavy feeling returned to his chest as Dean tried to think of a simple way to explain away the short temper and coarse words of John Winchester. It would be a lie if Dean said that his father was the perfect man. A big fucking lie. But, he couldn't deal with the look of pity that he was so sure would fill Castiel's eyes as soon as he mentioned his Dad's lack of parental prowess. It had been so long since Dean even entertained the idea that his father could possibly conjure up anything apart from hate and sharp-tongued comments about him and there were still times that he could hear the deep rumble of John's voice in the back of his mind. 

"He had an idea of what a real man should be and I didn't fit that ideal of his. I am gay and I have a job that doesn't require grease or hauling large hunks of metal across a yard. Y'know, a real man's job. I went against everything that he wanted me to be in this world. So did Sammy kinda... apart from the gay part which is probably why John brought it all down hard on me and let Sam live his life happily." 

Dean smirked down at his lap but there was no humor in it and he leaned back against the headboard as he was sure that there was nothing else to say on the subject of John and his Grade-A parenting. He took a deep breath, fingers relaxing in the edge of the bed covers and Dean finally managed a small look over at Castiel. The singer was staring back at him with the same intensity as before but there was a small tilt to his head that softened the sharp focus of his eyes. Dean narrowed his brow in confusion as he couldn't find the slightest sign of pity in Cas's eyes, not a single trace of it. They stayed like that for a moment, just staring at each other and if there was anyone else in the room, they would find it more than strange.

Cas was the first one to look away, a shrill ringing dragged his attention to his phone that was sat on the bedside table and Dean could hear him grumbling swears under his breath. He grumpily answered the phone with a gruff "Hello" and Dean quietly excused himself to the bathroom, carefully closing the door behind himself before he slid down the length of wood to the floor. Fuck fuck fuck. Dean took several gulping breaths, his chest suddenly feeling too tight for his lungs and his heart frantically beating against his rib-cage. Fuck. Did he actually tell Castiel Novak about his stupid nightmares and his father? 

No. 

This had to be another nightmare. It had to be because he would never tell someone that he barely knew, let alone a Novak, anything about his private life. Dean could feel an immense headache creeping behind his right eye as he stayed huddled against the bathroom door for a few moments but he, at last, hauled himself into the shower. He turned the water onto a searingly high head, one that tinted his skin bright pink the second that it met his body and created thick curls of steam that easily filled the room. Dean faced away from the shower head, allowing the thick beads of hot water to lash against his back and he let his mind drift into thinking about nothing. His body found some comfort in the shower, his mind untangling the mixed threads of thoughts and memories. A loud rapping at the door brought Dean back to reality and his quickly shut off the water to hear the voice on the other side of the door better. 

"Dean! Come on, we gotta leave!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What is this? An update in the same year as the last one   
> Strange   
> You could say that I may like writing 
> 
> Thanks for reading and leave any comments that you have below   
> X


	25. Running Scared

Castiel scrambled to pull on his jeans, a slight shake in his hands making it nearly impossible to button them quickly and he huffed as he had to still search for his shirt. It had been flung on top of the dresser adjacent to the bathroom door and Cas hammered at the door again. 

"Dean! For the love of all things holy on this Earth... Come on!" 

The desperate edge to his voice didn't slip Castiel's notice but he chose to ignore it, focusing his attention to hauling both of their backpacks onto the end of the bed and toeing on his shoes. This was definitely not the first time that Cas needed to leave a hotel room in a hurry and he was certain that it was not going to be the last. Dean, finally, emerged from the bathroom with a towel hanging too low on his hips and Castiel took a second to admire the vast span of tanned skin, a few thoughts immediately sprang to his mind and he could feel a soft warmth dancing along through veins as his eyes stayed glued to the journalist's thick biceps and solid chest. It was strangely intoxicating to simply be able to admire the strong body of another guy without Balthazar or Michael shrieking their backwards thoughts into Cas' ear. 

During the short time that Castiel had spent away from the band and that God forsaken tour-bus had lifted an unseen weight from his shoulders. He was able to be himself without fear of being ridiculed or Gabriel spraying lemon juice into his mouth whilst he was blissfully asleep. He was, at last, free to express himself. However, there was still a faded twinge of sadness in the back of his mind. Cas would never admit this to their faces but he did love his strange family and he did enjoy spending time with them. His childhood was littered with fond memories of Gabriel and Lucifer pulling foolish pranks on Michael, and Castiel often wished that he could spend hours upon hours with either one of his elder brothers like that again. On the flip side, being stuck in a small bus with them for weeks and weeks at a time without any form of a break should be classed as torture and therefore, illegal and immoral. Not to mention, Michael had practically abandoned the family and saw Castiel as no more than a one trick pony that needed to be showboated. He didn't see Cas as a brother anymore, just a piece of meat that needed to be displayed. 

"Earth to Major Tom?... Come in Major Tom..."

A warm hand hesitantly touching Castiel’s shoulder brought him crashing back to reality and he stretched out an arm to the duffel bags and threw a clean shirt at Dean’s bare chest. 

“Here… All of your crap is still in your bag, right?”

Castiel didn’t spare another glance at Dean as he stretched across the bed to grab his phone and hurriedly tap out a message to somebody who replied almost instantly. He stilled, letting out a shaky sigh and the frantic pace of his thumbs lessened as Cas stared down at his phone. He read and reread over the latest message for a few moments before pocketing the phone and turning back to Dean with a tired smile.

“Cas? What’s going on, Man?..”

The tired smile curled upwards a touch more and Cas bowed his head slightly before sitting on the edge of the bed. It dipped slightly under his weight and shortly, the bed sunk a little lower as Dean joined him. The journalist was still clutching to the white towel around his waist and the shirt that Cas had thrown at him in his right hand. Castiel didn’t dare to look at Dean, knowing that his attention would be dragged from the topic at hand and to the admiration of the fellow man’s physique.

“Apologies Dean… Gabriel called me this morning and said that Balthazar was heading back to find me and I…” 

An invisible block in his throat stopped the rest of the sentence, shame about his unnecessary panic trickling into his chest and Cas ran a heavy hand through his hair. Fuck. This was one of the numerous things that Castiel had marked down on the “Never tell a reporter” list but this was Dean Winchester. They had only known each for – fuck – 3 days, still Castiel felt that he could talk openly to Dean and whisper all of his worries with no fear or hesitation. However, there was still a voice in the back of his head, screaming at him to stop and to keep his mouth shut. It sounded weirdly like Michael.

“I-I panicked… about what Balthazar might do… or s-say if he actually found me…”

The overwhelming vulnerability in his own voice made Castiel feel like everything was closing inwards and he closed his eyes for a second, heart thrumming against his rib-cage and he risked a peek at the man sat next to him. Dean was staring back at him, eyes welcoming and honest, no obvious judgmental expression on his face.

 

He was just… listening.

 

Cas narrowed his brow slightly at the reporter and tilted his head, regarding the journalist closely. The bubble of panic that sat in the middle of his chest and threatened to burst at any second was slowly deflating, tension seeping from his shoulders and his heart falling into a more relaxed rhythm. He let a moment pass between them before standing from the bed, turning his back towards Dean again and he fumbled in his pocket to retrieve and tap away at his phone again. Aside from the two new messages from Gabriel, there were several missed calls from Balthazar and one from Meg too. 

“We still have to leave and pretty quickly but Gabriel is gonna stall Balthazar as long as he can so we can chance at a head start to the next gig.”

Castiel expected some kind of answer from Dean but none came, just a simple huff of breath and the gently pad of feet on carpet as the reporter dressed quickly and ensured the rest of his belongings were in the duffel bag. Castiel busied himself, ordering a rental car and pacing in front of the hotel room door. He half-expected for Balthazar to burst through the door with a full SWAT team, throwing cans of tear gas and dragging him back to that fucking tour bus. It only took a few minutes for Dean to get completely ready and sling one of the bags over his shoulder, the corner of his mouth quirking up in a soft smile at Castiel. Again, the knot of anxiety loosened in the singer's chest and he returned with an equally small smile.

 

They didn't say another word as they made their way downstairs, glancing at each other briefly as they entered the small elevator and a faint blush crept into Castiel's cheeks as he let his mind wander back to the share moment in the elevator when they turned up last night. Although, he was pretty sure that he could pull Dean into a tight embrace and kiss him until the doors opened on the ground floor, the air in the lift was stiff and tense unlike last night. The realization didn't hit him until he was typing out a quick reply to Gabriel and Cas threw an arm out to grip Dean's shoulder.

 

"I broke your phone..."

 

Fuck. Well done Novak. Cas dropped his head and groaned at his own stupidity, the familiar inklings of a migraine settling behind his right eye. No wonder Dean was acting so cold this morning. He turned on the spot to look up at the slightly taller man, squeezing the hand on Dean's shoulder and sighing heavily before speaking again.

 

"Dean... Fuck, I am so sorry... I can get you a new phone in the next town or something..."

The reporter simply nodded but Cas could feel his shoulders loosen and he was rewarded with an easy, wider grin from Dean.

"Thanks for offering Man but I can wait a little while to grab one. Its no biggie.."

In the back of his head, Castiel knew that it was certainly a "biggie." It seemed that that phone was a lifeline to the reporter. Dean spent every free moment, tapping away at his phone, writing notes and things like that. Cas felt the weight of guilt piling onto his shoulders and even though, Dean assured him again that there was no need to get him a new phone. Castiel made up his own mind to pick Dean up a cheap burner one at the first Gas station. The doors to the elevator made a small bell sound as they opened and the two men made their way to the front desk to pay for the room and quickly found the rental car already outside, waiting for them both. The rental car was nothing spectacular - thankfully - and he was sure that nobody would recognize them whilst they're driving it.

Cas tilted his head quizzically at the echoing sounds of his ringtone as he slid easily into the driver's seat, brow furrowing slightly as he tossed their backpacks into the back seats before digging his phone out of his pocket again. The large caller ID identified the caller as Gabriel and Cas swiped his thumb across the screen to accept the call.

 

"What is it Gabriel?"

Castiel didn't mean the harsh edge to his tone but that permanent knot of anxiety started tightening in his lower chest again and his fingers gripped the edges of the phone harder.

 

"I would start hauling ass if I was you, Bro. Balthazar is fuming and I've done my best to stall him but he is gonna be on you like flies on shit when the bus has air back in its tires"

There was faint yelling in the background that was followed by a short swear word from Gabriel and rustling of something like a jacket or coat. Cas plugged one ear with his finger as he tried to listen more closely to the aggravated, he could tell it was Balthazar but he could not make out any of his words. He glanced over at Dean, who was looking just as concerned from the passenger's seat of the car. Another string of curses from Gabriel as the loud voice grew closer to the phone.

 

"Anyway, keep me updated on whether you tapped the sweet reporter or not and I'll keep Balthazar from putting a hit out on you..."

 

"Thank you, Gabriel. You have no clue how much I need this break from him and... everything.."

 

"Oh trust me, little bro. I know a lot more than you think I do... Fuck! Okay, goodbye and good luck, prodigal son..."

 

Then he was gone and Castiel listened to the silence for a second before pocketing his phone again, shrugging his shoulders at the more than confused look on Dean's face. The singer couldn't find the energy to start explaining what may actually happen to both of them if Balthazar found them. He was sure that Dean had seen plenty of Balthazar's temper whilst chastising Gabriel before they got on the bus for the first time. Although, Cas deeply loved all of his brothers, there was certainly a part of him that loathed how angry or loud Balthazar could get if he did something wrong or stepped out of line.

 

"I guess that we better get moving then.."

Dean's voice brought Cas back to reality before he could get too lost in his own thoughts and he nodded his head with a small hum. It was still raining outside but the thunder had stopped for now. However, on the horizon, he could see dark and intimidating clouds that threatened something worse was headed for them and Cas could feel his stomach flipping nervously as he peeled smoothly away from the pavement. The gentle rumbling of the car engine filled the quiet atmosphere as neither man knew what to say in that moment, each other them were silently letting their minds process the confusing circumstances that led them to driving a rental car to Tacoma from Kansas. 

A strange bubble of laughter rose in Castiel's throat and he could feel Dean stare him, dumbfounded by the - possibly - inappropriate chuckling that came from the singer but Cas didn't care. He had spent most of his life, holding his tongue and not laughing at strange moments like this and he would be damned if he was going to hold back now. The low laughing continued for 10 whole minutes as it slowly faded into a more than comfortable silence. Dean fiddled and tweaked with the car's radio until it stopped on a channel that played only Classic Rock Hits. Cas sighed under his breath as the frantic feeling of having to flee the hotel began to dissipate and he could breathe a little easier as more picturesque scenery rushed by the windows of the car. Small houses with small white picket fences and larger buildings that boasted community functions and fundraising events for the local animal association. He began to imagine the love and affection felt by everyone in this community and something heavily sat in his chest. Cas' hands tightened on the steering wheel as he brought his full attention back to the road in front of him but he did not miss the look from Dean that he managed to catch out of the corner of his eye.

Castiel kept his eyes forward and mind clear of any thoughts other than not crashing the dang rental car and how he was going to spend his next 3 days. He sneaked a glance at Dean as an extremely specific idea came into his mind and a smirk broke across his face. This was going to be fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who’s back, back again  
> The Procrastinator with a serious Insomnia issue  
> Something must be going on for an update in the same year as the last one  
> Thanks for reading  
> Leave a comment if you want  
> Love ya X
> 
>  
> 
> PS. Once this whole thing is finished, I will be going back and changing some of the chapters of Backstage - I went back to reread the earlier chapters and holy shit - But that is gonna happen when I eventually finish this dang thing. Also, super sorry for the weird and rare uploads - I am trying to survive college and life is a pain in the ass - I always promise this but I am going to try and upload a little more frequently - There maybe a few shorter chapters, here and there but I shall try to kick my ass into gear soon and upload much longer ones to get further along with each chapter - Dig ya later - X

**Author's Note:**

> Hello 
> 
> This is my first fan fiction that I have had the balls to post on A03. The general plot and references to rock music came from my sister. The first couple of chapters are going to be much shorter than the rest. Easing you in to the mess that is my writing. Please stay until the end. I will try and update as much as possible. 
> 
> Thanks Guys!


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